Nothing to talk about

So I feel that I should blog because I haven't for a while. I have nothing to blog about, this is my dilemma. 

I am sick once again, but everyone has heard about that. My kids have been sick... ditto. I had to work today but since I spent the majority of my time working in the back room, there are no customers to complain about. Christmas was good and is now over once again. I am actually enjoying having my family home right now but will not be disappointed when it is time for school to start on Monday. 

I guess the highlight of the last few weeks has been spending time with the family. S and I have become quite addicted to playing Mario Kart, and it is pretty funny to watch Bug play too. We have seen a few good movies, and seen our families. I have enjoyed sleeping in and am trying not to let the weather get me down. I guess over all other than the sick stuff the last week has been pretty calm and I have very few complaints. 

WOW it is a Christmas miracle!! Sarah is not complaining for once! Just enjoy it while it lasts!!!

Incapable

For one  reason or another I have never been able to sleep past 4 am on Christmas. As a child I believe the reason was self evident. As an adult the reason varies but really the result is the same. So here I am once again blogging at almost 5 am, only this time there area few more excuses than when I was up at this hour as a kid. 

I think that I was probably the worse one of my parents children when it came to Christmas morning. I don't think I was ever capable of sleeping past about 4 am as a kid, no not once, and when I say kid I do mean I was still having this problem at the age of 18. To my credit I wasn't always the instigator of the trouble I was just usually the first one awake. I don't remember my Dad ever being in a good mood on Christmas morning because we always woke him up so early that really how could he be. My mother would set traps, she would sleep on the couch in front of the tree, or she would put things on the stairs that made noise. One year all she did was put a black garbage bad of wrapping paper by the stairs and it just looked so suspicious that we didn't dare pass it. That only worked once! I distinctly remember the year that my Grandparents spent the night with us sleeping in the hide-a-bed in the living room. Their bed separated us from the tree and so my sister and I tried to crawl underneath it to get to the toys at 4 am. Lets just say that didn't end well. It was the only time in my life I had ever heard my Grandpa use that tone of voice, it scared us to death! 

As an adult I like to think that it is just that I have so much on my mind that I can't sleep. Really I am just excited. I would like to say it is that I am excited for my kids. The problem is, how do I explain the 5 years of our marriage before we had kids? I guess I will just have to admit that I am just excited for myself. After all there are all kinds of presents under the tree for me too! Having children does help however because it gives me a convenient excuse to be up at this time of night. We are getting up at this time regularly anyway. (If you want to know why just look at the entry marked "Why can't I sleep?") Tonight, however I have even more excuses. Bug will NOT sleep tonight!!! S said that he was up with her countless times while I was sleeping, and she was still awake when we went to bed at 11:30. The other and more legitimate excuse is that Lou is sick... again! She is running a fever and that makes me unable to sleep due to worry. It is bad enough that we are contemplating leaving her in bed while the rest of us open presents. I do believe that she has been sick for every Christmas of her entire life. The poor kid! So while I do have excuses that doesn't explain why I am up right now, accept to say that... well... its Christmas. 

Frustrated!

I told everyone at work that I would blog about what someone did to me yesterday. I told S about it and he said it didn't sound all that bad, but I guess it is a perspective thing. Anyway here goes.

Here is the phone conversation I had at work.... keep in mind these people call during a really busy time on the busiest shopping day of the year....

 me: "Layton hills Children's Place this is Sarah."

guy: "Hi, do you have any boys size 5 pants?"

me: ".......... um... yes......"

guy: "could you put some on hold for us"

me-:" we have several different types of pants is there a particular kind that you want?"(listing in my mind the whole time the types, fleece, wind, jeans, chinos, chords, and hoping that he doesn't want me to list them for him)

guy:"oh.. yea, jeans"

me-:"oooooo k well we have several different styles of jeans"

(all during this conversation I can hear this guys wife in the back ground telling him what to say)

wife: "tell her to put them on hold"

guy: "Oh just grab a couple of different ones and put them on hold"

me: "ooooo k well we have several different washes too is there a particular kind you would like" (trying not  to show the frustration I am feeling)

wife: "just tell her to grab the most popular ones"

guy: "DO YOU JUST WANT TO TALK TO HER" ( to wife)

wife:"yes"

(at this point I don't just get on with the wife it is like they are both talking on the phone together, I can just picture them holding their heads together so they can both hear and talk on the phone)

wife-:"just pick out some of the most popular ones and put them on hold"

me:"well we are really well stocked in the boys jeans, you shouldn't have trouble finding what you need" (seriously there are at least four pairs of size 5 jeans in each wash and style sitting on the shelves, I guarantee they would not all sell by the end of the day!)

wife: "oh just put some on hold for us, under the name Rachel" 

me: "we really do have a lot out it shouldn't be a problem to find what you need"

wife: "oh no I don't want to sort through them, just put a bunch on hold"

me: "OK but we can only hold until close tonight" (hoping this will be a deterrent)

wife: "that's fine"

both: (in unison) "hold it under Rachel"

at this point I am a little irritated... OK a lot irritated!

So in my head I am thinking fine I will show them I will bombard them with choices and be totally obnoxious. I go over to the jeans and grab one of each color and one of each style in the size 5. This is about 8 pairs of little boy jeans. Navigating the store when it is busy isn't always easy, it is a very small store and when it is packed with people, as it was at the time, it can get frustrating. So I finally make it back to the desk and of course there are customers waiting. I finish ringing customers and get back to the jeans. At this point my co-workers are thinking this is pretty funny, mostly because this has happened to all of us at one point or another. I would probably have been laughing if it was someone else, but since it was me.... I wasn't!

Anyway I grab all the jeans and start stuffing them in a huge bag because there are too many to hang or put in a smaller bag. I am looking for a hold tag when the phone rings. My co-worker answers it, because I am helping customers again, and I vaguely remember her telling someone that, no we only sell the slims online. She gets off the phone and says to me, "is that the hold for the lady on the phone?". I glare at her and slowly tell her, yes. "Well she doesn't want them anymore, she wants the slims" She says all this with a huge grin on her face. At that point I have to  make a decision. Do I let my head explode and make a mess all over the store, or do I just let it go. I think I came in somewhere in between. I made my way into the back, after helping a few more customers, and proceeded to tell my manager who was in the back all about it. I guess I was pretty animated because she was laughing. Maybe that was for the best because it made me laugh too. 

The whole thing bothered me for a couple of reasons. 

First: I HATE BEING THE GO BETWEEN, and I hate being one of the people talking to the go between. One person I know does that I  absolutely hate it!!! 

Second: I am not a personal shopper! That is not my job! I work a lowly retail job making almost nothing and I do not deserve to have to do this for people. I realize that this is the job of my choice, but good grief someone has to do it, we can't all be rocket scientists.

 Plus how hard it is to just come into a store and look on the shelves for what you need, especially after I told them that there were plenty there. Part of the problem is that people frequently don't believe that we actually know what we are talking about, because after all we are just lowly retail workers! 

I guess now that I put it down in print it doesn't sound all that bad either, maybe you just had to be there. 

Vacation?

So my girls are out of school for the next two weeks. I don't really think this counts as a vacation, at least not for me. Oh sure we have the opportunity to do all sorts of fun things when they are out of school but, do we... NO! We end up sitting at home watching TV or movies. Then we get bored and go to Grandmas or something else equally exciting and by the time they go back to school I am about ready to scream. I do love my girls but, I really have gotten used to them being in school all day and having a quiet house. I get to go to work, I get actual house work done, I run errands, I even get an occasional chance to go to lunch with my husband or with a friend. This is actually fun for me because most of my friends have younger kids, and I can sit back and watch them struggle with them and sigh with relief. It is very fulfilling. I know I should enjoy this time we have together but it just isn't what I am used to anymore. Don't even get me started on summer vacation... three months of torture! At least then I can just send them outside for hours at a time. Now we just get to do it in 30 minute intervals, if at all. Maybe the purchase of the Wii this year will help. At least it will give ME something to do. 

Favorite Memories

OK so I know this will be pretty narcissistic but I want to know how many people are actually reading my blog. So I want everyone to comment on this one. What is your favorite memory of me! I know totally vain, but that's me! In turn I will respond with my favorite memory of everyone who makes a comment.

The Best Christmas Party Ever

Last year my dad made it very clear that he wanted his family to do something worthwhile for Christmas for someone else. He put my sister in charge, which I think was a great idea, she has a lot more resources and is very smart about these things. As a result we had a great family party yesterday. We decided that instead of swapping presents between the siblings we would put our money together and do something good. It was the first time this season that I really felt the Christmas spirit. We bought gifts for people who needed them and all got together to wrap them and have cider and hang out as a family. I loved that I could teach my kids that it isn't about what you get but what you give, especially when you don't receive in return. We are planning on making this an annual event, and I have to say I am looking forward to it. We were broken into teams to shop and  I especially enjoyed hanging out with my nephew who was on my team. I don't have a really close relationship with my sisters boys they are teenagers and I don't think that their idea of fun is hanging out with their Aunt Sarah. I have always thought that Ethan and I are a lot alike and yesterday kind of confirmed that for me. He is a great kid, all of my sisters kids are great kids. I want to tell my family (I know they don't all read this but hey, at least it is out there) that I love them all very much. I love spending time with them and I think about them and pray for them every day. I hope they all have a wonderful Christmas season. 

Why can't I sleep.

So here I am again at 4 am blogging. We have been getting Bug up three times a night to go to the bathroom (see previous blog entitled The great Bug). The first is at 11 or 11:30 when we go to bed. The second is at 1:30 and the third is at 4. We have sort of arranged it so that when her alarm goes off at the earlier time I am the one that gets up and actually drags her from the bed. When it goes off at 4 S takes over. Occasionally this changes. The reason why I am willing to pull myself and her from our nice cozy beds only two hours after placing myself there is that if I am up at 4 am I don't go back down. For some reason if I wake up anytime after about 3 am I cannot get back to sleep at all. Well this morning I didn't have to get up with her but her alarm woke me up and that was enough to keep me up. Now is the time that the brain chooses to be awake and alert, if a little fuzzy. So here I am sitting in front of the computer trying to figure out what to blog about. I am usually a really heavy sleeper. S has always made fun of me for this. He says that I could sleep through a tornado and never notice, and when I am in a regular sleep cycle he is right. Lately that regular sleep cycle seems to be alluding me though. I have had a lot on my mind lately, some good, some bad. There are a few worries that have been keeping me up, but most have been resolved. So there is no legitimate reason right now as to why I can't turn my brain off. Oh well back to the old standby, going to see what is on the music video channels. Maybe by doing this I will find my next favorite song again. Here are some great songs that I have discovered by doing this. If anyone wants to hear samples just check out my facebook page

Bat for Lashes- Whats a girl to do

Against Me!- Thrash Unreal

Amy Winehouse- You know I'm No Good

Charlotte Sometimes- How I Could Just Kill a Man

Duffy- Mercy

Flyleaf- All Around Me

Foo Fighters- The Pretender

Kaiser Cheifs- Ruby

Ingrid Michaelson- The Way I Am

Lilly Allen- Smile

Muse- Supermassive Black Hole

Panic at the Disco- Nine in the Afternoon

Paramore- Misery Business

The Rapture- Whoo! Alright-Yeah... Uh Huh

Regina Spektor- Fidelity

Sick Puppies- All the Same

Silversun Pickups- Lazy Eye

In-Laws

I married into a great family. S and I got engaged after only 5 weeks of dating, and we met on a blind date. We hadn't even known each other for a full 6 months when we got married. When S told his mom that we were engaged she locked herself in her room and cried. I can't say I blame her. He told her several times that she would like me but, all she could say was that she didn't even know me. I don't think that we made it very easy on her. To her credit I have never heard another negative thing come from her again. 

My in-laws have always accepted me for who I am, especially my Mother-in-law. She is easily one of my best friends. She is the kindest and sweetest person I know. She cares more for her children and grandchildren than anyone I have ever known. She would gladly give her life for one of them. Both of them have accepted me into their family with a great deal of grace. They have always treated me like one of their own children. They are kind, they are gracious, they are giving. They give of their time like it means nothing to them. At the age of 74 they still babysit my kids and get mad at me when they have heard that I hired a babysitter. They both have more energy than people half their age and they use that energy to help those around them. They take care  of their family but they also take care of their friends. They have been caretakers of a sweet neighbor of theirs for several years now, taking her to church, bringing  her things she need and basically loving her like family. 

 They seem to truly love me like I am one of their own, and I can't help but love them all the more for it. They are the best people I know, and I am glad to count them as my friends. I truly love them and all that they are. 

The Great Bug

I had to wake my child up to go to the bathroom right before I went to bed tonight. When I finally got her back into bed she burst into a fit of giggles. I think she as actually asleep. This is the second time Bug has done this in the last few weeks. It is hilarious! What is great is that she will hold these completely nonsensical conversations with you at the same time. We have known for a long time that she talks in her sleep but the laughing in her sleep thing is new. 

Bug is the most original child on the planet. I know every parent thinks that about their child but I think it really is true for her. Bug had a rough start in life and it has never gotten easier. She and her Twin were born 14 weeks early. Bug's lungs both collapsed in the first week of her life and she has been nothing but drama ever since. I think that most people look at her and assume that she is my easy child in comparison to her sister. They are dead wrong. Part of the problem is that Bug is a little version of my Mother. I love my Mom but I don't want to be raising her. Bug is all about the fun, she doesn't see the point in doing anything that isn't fun, like homework, or chores, or eating. She is very easily distracted. We have recently found out part of the reason for that. Last year she was diagnosed with complex partial seizures. That means that her brain is having seizures but only part of it. We put her on a medication for it and proceeded to live through a 4 month nightmare. Needless to say it wasn't the right medication. We have her on something else right now and it seems to be doing the job. I hate that I have to medicate my child, but at the same time I wish there was a pill that would make her take life a little more seriously. She is doing better at focusing, some of that due to the meds and some of that due to some really awesome teachers (you know who you are). I attribute none of that to her lazy mother. She still struggles though. She is in special ed. at school for reading, math, writing, and social skills. It literally takes us hours every night to get through the small amount of homework that she brings home because she just can't focus. It is extremely frustrating and sometimes it is really hard not to get mad. She doesn't understand that kids her age think she is weird, so continues to do weird things that make her even more weird to them. Bug has some really frustrating bladder control issues. Aside from bed wetting she has trouble controlling her bladder during the day too. She cannot understand that it is no longer socially acceptable for her to be having accidents. She does it at school, church, and almost anywhere else, most of the time there is no warning either. It can be very hard not to be mad and I get embarrassed for her. The frustrating part is that she doesn't, sometime it seems that she doesn't care at all. She is very young for her age, and by that I mean immature. Because of this she has great deal of trouble making friends.  Bug doesn't understand rudeness, or politeness, or manners. Trust me we have tried to teach these things they just don't sink in. She cannot understand that people who think she is cute now will not think the things she does are cute in a few years. She talks all the time and at full volume. That is no exaggeration! She really does talk all the time! A few weeks ago Shane and I were in the car talking and realized that she had been talking to herself for the last 15 minutes. When I commented that maybe she thought that she was talking to Lou she said "No I am just talking to myself." It doesn't matter if anyone is listening or not. I know every parent out there is saying that their kid does those things too, but I have seen how other kids interact and what the maturity level is of the other kids in her class and she isn't even close. 

On the other hand... she is awesome. I have never seen a kid that could charm adults like she can. She can make a person her best friend in about a minute and a half. Really the best word to use for her really is charming. She is a charming little girl. She makes me laugh out loud every day. Her perspective on life is actually very refreshing sometimes. Life is about enjoyment for Bug. If you cant have fun doing something then why bother doing it. She can make even the most mundane task seem like going to Disney Land. There was a time when all we had to do to make her day was take her to the mall to have lunch in the food court. Every time we took her anywhere she would grab our hand and say "This is the best day ever, huh Mom" for about a year and a half every day was the best day ever. She is very easy to please. She is absolutely beautiful and her charm just explodes out of her in a halo that covers anyone within hearing range of her.  I know a lot of people would disagree with me but I think her best feature is her stunning green eyes (I always wanted green eyes) and her beautiful soft red hair. She loves princesses and Hannah Montana (much to mom and dads dismay). She LOVES to read, and can almost always be found with a book in her hand, even while jumping on the trampoline. She loves the few friends she has and is fiercely loyal. She thinks that her family is the best in the world and we think she is the best thing in the world too. 

Random complaints

So I sit down to blog and all of the sudden my mind goes completely blank. Why  is this? I can think of things to write about all of the time accept when I am sitting in front of the computer. I guess I will just get some things off of my chest.

---

I had to work yesterday, it went so slowly. I guess part of the problem is that I really didn't want to be there. Listening to cheesy Christmas music all day, constantly having people ask for stuff I can't deliver, and standing on my feet forever. S says that I am selling myself short when I say that retail is the only thing I am qualified for, but it really is true. I have had office jobs. I hate them! I don't want to sit in a chair all day, I don't want to work at a computer all day, and I hate office politics. I need a job where I can move around and feel like I am helping people. I have always wanted to teach high school maybe this really is the time for me to go back to school and learn how to do that. 

---

We are having our work Christmas party tonight. Yes I know that its Sunday. I work retail people. The only day of the week that we don't close at 9pm is Sunday. This way whoever is working today actually has a chance of coming to the party. I have volunteered to host this party, partially because I like always being the host (just call me Monica) and partially because I only live 5 minutes from work, so it will be easy for whoever is there to get to my house quickly. Most of my coworkers know that I have a new house and will be expecting a tour. This means that I have to clean my entire house. Ugh! Not looking forward to that. Now if I was a decent house keeper maybe that wouldn't be as much of an issue, however I am not. I am a lousy house keeper. I HATE HOUSEWORK!!!!!!! I am not one of those people that will clean just for the satisfaction of seeing things clean or for the enjoyment of doing it. Usually I need an excuse to clean, like someone is coming, or it is too disgusting to enter a room anymore. Oh well I guess this is my excuse. 

---

I am so tired of Christmas music, I blame my work. If I have to hear that stupid Santa Baby song or the duet where the guy is trying to convince the girl to stay because it is cold outside again I think I will scream. If they would just leave good songs alone maybe it would be fine, but they insist on getting  two or three of the most terrible remakes ever made and putting them on our CD at work, and then playing them over and over. I swear I heard the same song six times yesterday. It is only the 7th of December and I never want to hear Christmas music again. And why when I say this can't anyone understand this. I get people calling me Scrooge or saying Bah Humbug. First of all have some originality and, second everyone is entitled to an opinion. Just because I don't like Christmas music doesn't mean I don't like Christmas and it doesn't mean I don't want to celebrate Christs birth. So there!

---

I guess those were all sort of work related, Well now you all know what is on my mind the most lately. 

Funny!

This is my blog for the day.

http://bewareofthedoghouse.com/videoPage.aspx

Ode to Lou

So I haven't really explained my kids. I have twin girls that are ten years old. Lou (names have been changed to protect the innocent... he he) is autistic and has cerebral palsy. She is a really interesting kid. She is like a three year old stuck in a ten year old body. (Actually more like an 8 year old body because both of my girls are really small for their age.) Imagine if you will a three year old that can reach everything that they shouldn't. There are some really negative things about having a child like Lou. She  is not potty trained so she makes really bad smells. She also is fascinated with her diaper and so we have to put her in special under shirts so that she cant get into the source of the smell. When she does manage to get in it isn't pretty. She doesn't understand safety. So I have to keep one hand on her at all times so that she doesn't run in front of cars or walk off on her own. She does have a wheelchair, however she can walk so we don't take it everywhere. For instance we are not allowed to take it to school for her (yes I mean allowed, the district will not let us). For church, restaurants,  and shopping it is really handy though. She is completely non verbal. Yes that is right no talking. She cant tell me when she is sick, or when she is mad, or when she is happy. I have had to try to decipher these moods for some time now. Sometimes it is pretty obvious, and sometimes it is not. Lou does not understand that she shouldn't touch certain things. Like hot stoves, or dog poop. She also doesn't understand not to stick her finger into her nose so she gets it so far in that she makes it bleed and then wipes it all over my house.  She also has a high threshold for pain so it is hard to tell when she is really hurt. A few years ago she broke her arm (all she was trying to do was climb up into a chair), we couldn't tell if there was even something serious wrong because she was hardly crying. She is also very strong, she hurts without knowing that she is hurting, and sometimes she gets a kick out of your reaction when she does hurt. She bites, she spits, she pinches, she hits, she drools, and she is very mean sometimes.  Needless to say she can be a very difficult child.

On the other hand she is beautiful. She has the best laugh in the whole world. I love to make her giggle because it doesn't matter how down I am it will always make me smile. She gives the best and tightest hugs. She loves everyone unconditionally. It doesn't matter if they are mean or nice to her she treats everyone the same. She has a few signs that she can do with her hands and has learned a few animal sounds. If you sit still long enough she will show you all of them. Her favorite sign is banana, she could eat bananas all day and never get sick of them. She has beautiful strawberry/red hair that shines all the time. She has beautiful red lips that love to give kisses. She loves to tell you all about her puppy, and her Daddy, and her Mommy  and her sister Bug. Lou loves Sponge Bob Square Pants. If you turn this on expect to hear squeals of glee coming from her direction. She has a great sense of humor, and loves to hear others laugh. She loves to play hide and seek , but you cant hide when she is in the room or she will always give you away. She is the smartest kid, but she just cant express it. 

I used to feel sorry for  myself for having a kid like Lou. Now I feel sorry for Lou for having a mom that isn't worthy of her. That is not me getting down on myself, that is me saying that even the most perfect mom would never be worthy to have such a great kid, because no matter what else I can say to describe her, the best word to use for Lou is PERFECT!

Old friend and good friends

It seems lately like I have been doing a lot of friend finding. I blame facebook. It is so easy to get on there and find people I haven't seen in years. We recently found some old friends of ours that we haven't seen in about ten years. We have been talking back and forth, you know sending messages to each other. Well we finally got together with them last night. While wandering around Temple Square looking at the lights, we reminisced a little. OK a lot! Wow what a flashback. We were friends with these people pre-children. We were married for 5 years before we had our kids so we had a lot of pre-children years. They were a pretty big part of our lives for quite a while. S worked with them both at one point and so there was a big work connection. I remember their wedding, their families, their first apartment with the green leather couches. I remember going to concerts up at Wolf Mountain with them, sitting on blankets and making fun of the warm up band. Being with them last night really reminded me of what a good time we used to have. I remember the four of us hanging out in her room watching Better Off Dead (they did this for my benefit because I had never seen it before). Jeff (one of the old friends) seems to remember us beating a hasty path homeward at one point, but I don't remember that. 

The point of this whole ramble is that it really took me back. Watching S and Jeff now was like watching them when they were both in their early 20's again. It was really funny. Like watching little boys play in the back yard. It was like no time had passed at all between the four of us. I think we bored their daughter to death, but we had a great time and really enjoyed catching up. I have really enjoyed catching up with old friends lately. I like to think they have enjoyed it too. 

Sorry!

My husband apparently was very offended by my post about marriage and time off work. So I am officially apologizing for posting that especially since it was just the first day of the 5 day weekend. I have to admit that it was a good weekend, even with every one home. I am sorry S!

Flashback

I was surfing through TV channels yesterday and had to laugh at what I landed on. Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey! As I sat there giggling at them reciting Every Rose Has it's Thorn to get into heaven, I had a major flashback. There was a time when I wasn't an uptight control freak mom. There was a time when I thought that stupid movies were funny. There was a time when I cut school just to ride around in cars. I started to think of a simpler time. When my meals and living expenses didn't come out of my own pocket. When the only person I was responsible for was myself. I miss that time. I guess getting in touch with a few old friends lately has made me think of this, and what I miss about being young. Not that I am that old, but when the kids I teach in sunday school were born the year after I graduated I am not exactly young anymore. I have to admit that I probably wouldn't repeat that age again but there are things I do miss. The freedom from worry. Like what happens if my house catches on fire, or my husband looses his job, or one of my kids get hurt. I miss only worrying about meeting my curfew, or when my homework is due. Maybe it is a mid life crisis, but I thought only men did that. Like most people, I would say that if I knew then what I know now things would be different, but if that was the case would I be where I am now? I like where I am now. I wouldn't want that to change. Maybe if I hadn't made some of the bad or good decisions that I made then I wouldn't be the person I am today. I don't think I would like that. It took me a long time to come to the realization that I like who I am, and I shouldn't try to be someone I am not. I learned that some time in my teenage years and something I did along the way cemented that in my brain, and made me a lot stronger. I guess what I am saying is that nostalgia is a great thing in small doses. 

Thanks

Thanksgiving was a good day for me. I usually stress a lot about preparing a meal this large, but yesterday was a really relaxed day for me. I even had time for a nap. I started making food and preparing my Turkey the night before. Then that morning I got almost everything else done early so I didn't have to work on it all at the same time later. Spreading things out really helped. By the time my parents got here everything was either keeping warm in the crock pot or ready to go into the oven right then. It was awesome! I didn't stress at all. Maybe if I had more people than my parents over it would have been more stressful but hey who's complaining. 

So now I have an opportunity to say thanks to everyone that has made my life a little better. Thanks to my wonderful parents who have always taught me what is right. Thanks to my great friends, old and new, who are always there when I need them. Thanks to S's family who have always accepted me for who I am. Thanks to my beautiful little girls for showing me what strength really is. Thank you to my awesome husband who loves me unconditionally. 

I love you all!

Marriage and time off work

So I have stated for years now that it is my firm belief that married people are not meant to spend 24 hours a day together. A lot of times I say that and people either argue with me or act like I have said something bad. I love my husband but if he is home for more than two days in a row I am on the verge of doing him in. Every year between Christmas and New Years S has mandatory time off. By the end of that week and a half we are at each others throats!  Almost every society has some sort of set up that basically works out so  that men and women don't spend their whole day together, even Bushmen in Africa. This is for a good reason! One of the problems is that men think that just because they are home that the woman's whole world comes to a stop. I still have dishes, laundry, children, etc. that are lobbying for my attention. In fact there is a good chance that if S has the day off then so do my girls. That means that not only is he home, but they are too, so there are three other people in my house to create three times the mess of any other day! Smart women are the ones that agree with me and don't look at me and say "OH I love having my family home with me!" Wackos!!! Either that or they have trained their family to keep perfectly still in one place and not touch anything. If that is the case I would like to know what their secret is. LOVE YOU S, now go back to work!!!!

ABC Tag

My friend Sher did this on her blog and I couldn't think of anything else to do so here goes. 

A-- Attached or Single? Attached

B-- Best friend(s)? Cassie, Lora, and Becki. Oh and S I guess.

C-- Cake or pie? Definitely pie! I make a great Lemon Meringue pie.

D-- Day of choice? Believe it or not Monday, the kids go back to school and I have the whole house to myself.

E-- Essential item? Lately the computer but mostly a good book.

F-- Favorite color? Navy blue

G-- Greatest accomplishment? Living through the first three years of my children's lives.

H-- Hometown? Ummmm well I was born in Kansas City, Missouri but spent most of my growing up years in Taylorsville, Utah.

I-- Indulgences? Candy, I have a real sweet tooth, but not too interested in chocolate unless I have PMS.

J-- January or July? Absolutely July, I hate the cold!

K-- Kids? 2 twin girls that are 10

L--Life is incomplete without? Family, Books, Music, Movies.

M-- Marriage Date? July 31, 1993

N-- Number of siblings? 3 two sisters one older and one younger and one younger brother.

O-- Oranges or apples? Both I love fresh fruit.

P-- Phobias or fears? Heights (more specifically falling from heights, haven't been on a roller coaster since I was 8)

Q-- Quotes? "I'd like to see that!" -Bug (there is a story behind that, maybe some day I will tell it)

R-- Reason to smile? Lou's laugh, it is the one thing that always makes  me smile no matter what.

S-- Season? I always say fall but it is my worse as far as my health and I hate cold  so I am not sure why.

T-- Tag 5 friends? Yea like 5 people even read this!

U-- Unknown facts about me? My life is an open book! 

V-- Very favorite store? Tai Pan, and Target

W-- Worse habit? I have a very bad temper!

X-- X-ray or ultrasound? I don't find either very pleasant but if I had to choose I guess ultrasound.

Y-- Your favorite food? Anything but PIZZA or fish!

Z-- Zodiac? Cancer

The chosen one

Since we moved I have received a lot of unusual mail. Someone out there has sold my information to everyone out there trying to make a buck. S does not receive these mail offers just me and every one has my name spelled wrong. I talked about one of them in a previous blog. I just got another unusual one this week. Someone with psychic powers trying to sell me a Ring of Re, whatever the hell that is! I get, on a weekly basis, at least three prize offers, 5 credit applications and about every other week now I get someone trying to sell me some weird object. What is with this? They make some of the most bazaar claims too. The most recent claims that this ring will give you good luck. One woman claimed that her husband left her three months earlier and the day she put the ring on he called and wanted her back. I am thinking that if she fell for this kind of crap a lot maybe he was smart to leave her in the first place and  maybe it was for the best. The person who's name is on the letter said that the ring made her a psychic. Well... I guess people will believe anything. She claims she has all the money she wants now. I bet she does if people are falling for this and are sending her money for the piece of junk she is selling. I would like to know how to stop the never ending stream of junk that I have been receiving. I don't want to be special anymore!!!!

Poor Lou and other complaints

I hate it when my kids are sick, but especially when it is Lou. She coughed all night last night and has red spots all over this morning, not to  mention what her diapers look like. She is so hard sometimes when she is sick. She doesn't want to be held, but she doesn't want to be left alone either. I prefer the sick that involves lethargy. At least then she will sleep. The hardest part is that she can't talk so she cant tell me where she hurts. She is eating fine so I am assuming it isn't a throat problem, but that leaves me with a lot of other options. I guess I just have to ride it out. What a pain in the butt. Don't get me wrong I know it is about taking care of her and not how inconvenient it is for me. It is just harder when it is her that is sick because I feel like my hands are tied, I just can't do anything to help. She is watching TV right now and seems pretty happy about it, I guess I should be grateful that she is relatively happy... right?

I guess part of what makes it hard is that I am not feeling quite right myself this morning. I have a headache and my back is out... again. I just feel old today! What other 34 year old do you know that suffers from severe arthritis? That is an old person disease. I know, I bring it on myself. I am not suppose to lift anything heavier than a piece of paper. It is just hard not to pick Lou up sometimes. My job doesn't help either, but how do I tell my boss that I cant lift stuff. I work retail that involves lifting heavy clothes and boxes, it is just part of  the job! Oh well there is my whine for the day, hope you all enjoyed it! 

Alright so I am a fan... I guess.

Twilight! There I said it. Yes I am going to the movie this weekend. Yes I have read all four books more than twice each. Yes I admit I enjoyed reading them. Yes I am a little excited to go to the movie. There I admitted it! Mostly it is because we are making it into a girls night out and I haven't had one of those in a long time. I will also admit that I think they are totally girly, way to melodramatic and pretty sappy. I also think they create false expectations in women that don't belong there. Yea Edward is pretty perfect, but how many times in the span of four books did he offer to do the dishes for Bella? Plus I think he was a little bossy, and controlling. Safety or not, she is her own person... HELLO! Other than that I do think that Stephenie Meyer is pretty smart. These were marketed really well (at least here in Utah), and She has probably made a fortune off of them. I did go out and buy the soundtrack (the only CD I have actually purchased in years), but only because I really like most of the bands that are on it, and it is the type of music I like the most. I did not buy it for the poster, I haven't even looked at it yet! Honestly where would I put a poster like that anyway... on  my ceiling? Yea S would love that. 

I love Bond

Shane and I are sitting on the couch watching Casino Royal. I have to admit as much as I love Pierce Brosnan,  and Sean Connery, Daniel Craig has got to top my list as favorite Bond. I was introduced to Bond in High school with View to a Kill, and have loved them ever since. From the terrible names for the female leads to the cheesy weapons of mass destruction. I love the chase scenes, I love the way over  the top story lines, I love that the actor playing the main character changes every few years. I just love them! My parents never liked them so I didn't grow up watching them, so for a lot of years I was playing catch up. There are still a few I haven't seen but, very few. Every time I see one playing on TV somewhere I can't help  but turn it on and I am totally captivated every time. I am hoping that S and I can go see the new one in the theatre, because really they were meant to be seen on the big screen. So write in and tell me what your favorite Bond movie is.

adjustments

I've decided to make a list of the things I have adjusted to since having children. Maybe it will make me feel better after a rather gross afternoon of Lou's messes.

Throw up- I haven't adjusted to this as well as I should have. However I can fight the urge to throw up myself when they do. It can actually be rather amazing when it projects all the way across the room.

Diapers- I guess when you have been dealing with this for 10 years you no longer get grossed out by poop. Changing diapers for a ten year old will do this for you too. I can't say I like it spread all over the walls though.

Blood- I used to get light headed when I saw wounds, now it is just another fluid that my children produce at random moments.

Drool- believe it or not this has its own odor. I almost find this more gross than throw up or poop. 

Pills- I have never liked taking pills and I don't like giving them to my kids. I consider them a necessary evil with my epileptic child.

Sweating- No matter how hot I am if my child needs to be held then I can deal with their body heat in order to make them feel better.

Stares- Children stare, adults stare, it doesn't matter anymore.

Loud noises- no matter how loud your children are in church, mine are worse. At least all of Emma's are happy noises.

Prayers- I do this a lot more often than I ever did before children. They are also some of the most comical things to happen in our house.

Embarrassment- Whether it is Lou turning the lights off during Sacrament meeting or Bug repeating something that she shouldn't I guess it just doesn't faze me anymore.

Spitting- OK so I hate this one. There is nothing in this world like having food spit at you, but I guess I am used to it by now. 

Hey if anyone out there is actually reading this blog and wants to add to this list go right ahead. Maybe if it something that my kids don't do it will make me feel better. 

I can't stop!

I discovered facebook a few weeks ago. In the last 24 hours I have spent no less than 6 hours online checking my status and the status of everyone on my friends list. Wow what a time waster!

I have managed to find a couple of old friends that I have to admit I am really glad that I have gotten back in contact with. For the most part though, those on my list are people I see in my ward all the time. I find myself wanting to check and see who is on every few minutes. My status says that I can quit any time... I don't think that is the truth. They say that the first step in solving a problem is admitting you have one. Well here goes, I am addicted to Facebook! This is getting ridiculous, I have better things to do! Not only that but I have found myself checking my blog really often to see if anyone has commented, not to mention all the other blogs that I keep track of now.

 (If you haven't checked it out look at seriouslysoblessed.blogspot.com I laugh my butt off every time) 

What I want to know is when did the Internet become my main source of entertainment. I guess being home all day on the days that I don't work is not necessarily a good thing. I suppose I have to be grateful that the Christmas season is starting so that my work hours will pick up and give me something useful to do. 

Can't sleep

I doesn't happen very often, but I can't sleep tonight. I am usually a really heavy sleeper, tonight I am really keyed up. Again something that doesn't happen often. I fall asleep really easily, and quickly. S on the other hand is a chronic insomniac, he stays up reading almost every night. I need my 8 hours or I don't function well. When this happens I usually only have one recourse, TV. So here I am at midnight, in my footy pajamas watching Law and Order. Ordinarily it is me at 3 am watching music videos. I have to admit that that is when I find the best music. They don't play the kind of music I listen to at regular hours. I have discovered some of the best bands on Fuse in the middle of the night. 

"The question"

What is it about the question that bugs me. You know what question... "So when are you having more kids?". I guess it depends on who is asking. I have friends that I talk to about it that I can be really open to, and then someone else asks and I get all mad. I guess it is the sensitivity level of the person asking, or maybe the way they ask. I have twin girls, I have only been pregnant once and that was cut very short (like by 14 weeks). I have not been preventing pregnancy for about 5 years now. I have actually had a lot of fun telling people that when they ask. Their reactions range from pity, to remorse for asking. It is a sensitive subject. I was talking to a friend  who has been married for almost long as I have and he and his wife don't have kids at all. He said that he doesn't think about it anymore but it is still hard for his wife. I started thinking about that and why that would be the case, why is it easier for men to not think about. I guess for men they don't have a monthly reminder that they haven't achieved their goal yet. Women always have that little reminder. I used to be really sensitive about it, and then I got to the point that I just started not caring anymore. Now when people ask I just say point blank that we have been trying for more than 5 years... the reactions are always great. "Oh I am sorry." Yea sorry you asked in the first place! People who don't have fertility problems don't really get it either. I had a friend who said she totally understood, and then went on to tell me about how she was trying to conceive and it took longer than a month and it was so devastating. OH PLEASE! Like that is any basis of comparison. What I love is the advice, "Oh take vitamins, go to the Chiropractor, just relax about it, stand on your head...". 

I guess I should be grateful for what I have, two great kids to hug and call me Mom. 

I love my new house

We moved recently, it was a very stressful event, and I don't ever want to do it again. It took 19 days longer than it should have for everything to go the way it should, but in the end I have a nice new house to live in. I have to admit that I love it. I am almost embarrassed to admit to people how big it is. After all there are only four of us living in this 6 bedroom house. (S would be really annoyed if I didn't say that one of them is technically not a bedroom, it is an office.) It has taken me since September to finish repainting the house, it has been quiet the challenge. I have loved every minute of it. To me it is worth the effort to see the results, no matter how long it takes. I have loved redecorating, and making it my own. I loved decorating for Halloween. I am going to love decorating for Christmas. This is the house I want to live in for the rest of my life. I want to raise my kids here. We had a hard time finding the right house for us. Lou is a rather hard child to accommodate for. We needed something that had a closed floor plan so that we could stop using baby gates so much. (we still use them but hopefully not for long) The trend with houses these days is for really open floor plans so we had a hard time finding the right place. We did finally find the right place, unfortunately we found it only a couple of weeks after we put our house up for sale. As luck would have it, that same house hadn't sold by the time we did finally sell. Plus it had dropped by twenty thousand dollars, we figured that it was meant to be. We prayed about this a lot and found it really was the right thing to do. We have been in this house now for two and a half months and I love it every day. My kids love it, S loves it, even the pets love it. Every time someone asks me how I like my new house I just grin and tell them I love it. The best part is that I am only 8 houses away from my old house. Same ward (no new person in the ward talk... Yeah!) same neighbors, because I have the best neighborhood ever that makes it even better. It is awesome. 

Old friends

I have never been the type of person who made friends easily. As a child I was shy and because I moved around a lot I had a hard time making friends. As a teenager I was very self-conscious and kind of a nerd. As an adult I think a lot of people find me abrasive and loud.

I have recently found my way onto facebook and found a few old friends. It has confirmed for me that I have never had a lot of friends. I hardly knew anyone from high school to connect with and I don't have any friends that predate junior high to find. I can think of three friends that I have known for longer than I have been married that I keep in contact with, even then I only hear from them about once a year. I like to think that I am a friendly person, and that I like people. I just am not sure that people like me back. S on the other hand has found a long list of people to connect with (mostly women) and we see an entire group of people that he went to high school with at least every other month. I don't understand how someone who is as friendly as he is could have ended up with someone like me. Not that I think I am unfriendly just am not good at maintaining friendships. I spend time with exactly three people in my neighborhood on a social level. They are the only ones that I see and talk to on a regular basis. I like a lot of the people in my neighborhood but I am not gutsy enough to just call someone up and invite them to go shopping or go to lunch. I think a lot of people would think of me as aggressive and they don't realize that it is a front for a lot of insecurity. I guess that those that can see past that are the ones that I actually end up calling friend. Maybe it is a consequence of my childhood that I just don't keep up with people well. I get very wrapped up with my own personal life and forget that I have friends that I should call. If there are any old friend out there that are reading this and feel badly that I haven't kept in touch just know that I am thinking of you and would love to hear from you! 

Memories, good and bad.

Iwas at work today and standing around talking to a friend of mine who works with me. Somehow we got onto the subject of my kids, and she asked me why my girls were born so early. I hadn't realized that she didn't know the story, I mean good grief I thought that I had told the story to EVERYONE! So I started telling her about my labor pains and about having a placental abruption. I was talking about driving to the hospital at 2 in the morning and getting the urge to push about half way there. I told her about how when they asked me how far along I was I would always say I am not quite 26 weeks. I repeated the phrase I love to repeat because it was so shocking "You are dilated to a ten you are having your babies tonight". All of the sudden all of those memories came flooding back to me. That was by far one of the scariest nights of my life. I was only 24 years old, I had never had my birthing class. I was just under 26 weeks of what should have been at least a 35 week pregnancy (twins are always early so they just aim for about 35 weeks). It was the middle of the night, and by the time I got to the hospital it was too late to do anything but deliver. I don't think I have ever been so terrified. Occasionally over the last 10 years I have been inside a NICU to see another baby. I always walk out in a sort of shocked state. I just cant hear the noises that come with that kind of place without having flashbacks. I started to remember that I didn't hear my girls cry for the first time until they were 7 weeks old. I didn't get to hold either of them until they were a week old. I remember the first time they set Lou in my arms and I couldn't even move because she was hooked up to so many wires and tubes that if I moved an alarm would inevitably go off. We weren't even allowed to hold Bug until she was two weeks old because she had chest tubes. I guess what I am trying to say is that I truly do love my children and I am so lucky they are even alive. I am lucky I am alive because I guess it isn't rare for moms to die when that happens. So I guess here is what started me on the road to becoming a "Holland Mom".

Political Opinion

I don't like politics. I never have, however, I do believe that it is important to voice ones opinion. I do believe that one person can make a difference, whether for good or bad. I don't believe either person running for the highest office in the land can fix our current national problems. I do know that I believe abortion to be wrong, and I don't believe that gay marriage is OK. I also don't believe that socialism is the right answer.  Other than that I don't know what to do to fix our economy, or the problems in Iraq.  I have listened to both men and I know who I am voting for. I don't believe that having a good stage presence is a good deciding factor for who will make a good leader. I also don't believe that voting for someone based on race is right.  I would like to post this little audio clip from President Ezra Taft Benson. If you would like to argue about what it says or what I say, feel free to leave a comment. 

On being sick... again.

It used to be that I got sick a lot, and I do mean a lot. Every fall my allergies would kick in and then my asthma, and then I would get bronchitis, then because I had a week immune system I would catch whatever was going around. I would get strep about two to three times a year, and I would always get the flu or at least a cold that felt like the flu. Not to mention sinus infections, and ear infections. I got my tonsils out about 4 years ago and was put on a really good asthma medication at the same time. Ever since then things have been better and worse. Better because I don't get sick as often, I still get a lighter version of bronchitis but I usually don't have to go to the doctor for it and can skip the antibiotic. I don't really get strep anymore, and my asthma is under control. It is worse because when I do get sick I am not used to it and it hits me a lot harder. When I used to be sick for 9 months of the year I learned how to deal with it and adapt my life around it. Now that I only get sick a couple of times a year I just don't deal as well. I feel like a total wimp. All I want to do is lay in bed and moan, (moaning really does help) and if I can sleep all day that is even better. Unfortunately I have children that insist on getting up and being fed, getting dressed, and being taken to school. What is with that... don't they know I am sick! Oh well at least then I can go back to bed, which is what I am going to do right now. 

Going back to school... at my age.

I have always liked school. My sister used to tell me that I was weird because I liked school. I have always felt that school is important. I have always wanted to teach. I used to picture myself as a high school english teacher. Probably because I had a really cool teacher in high school and she made it look like a great job. She had a real influence on me and my interests, although I don't think she ever knew that. Anyway, I have wanted to go back to school for the last ten years. I was attending Weber State University when I got pregnant (yes on purpose) and with the circumstances of my children's birth it made things a little difficult. We are finally at a stage when I can start thinking about it again. I don't aspire to do as much as I wanted to in the past, but I am looking at a trade school of sorts so that maybe I can get to do something I like to do, rather than something I am settling on. Here is my issue... I am almost 35 years old. I don't want to be the old lady in the class with a bunch of 18 year olds. Good grief, I am old enough to have a teenager of my own! I also don't want to be looked at as the "mom of the class". I wouldn't mind making a few friends but maybe someone my own age group would be nice. I have been saying to S for  a long time that it is my turn to go  to school, but I feel that if I don't go soon that ship will have sailed. If I do go this will be a year and a half of frustration not only for me but for my family as well. I will have to get someone to watch my girls for the summer, be gone every saturday from 9 am until 5 pm, not to mention the money issue. The question is whether or not it is worth it. This is something that I have always thought I would enjoy, but what happens if I spend all the time and money and find out that I hate it? I am a firm believer in higher education, but is trade school really considered higher education? These are the questions that plague my mind right now. If anyone has any advice I would love to hear it. 

Family Photos

We went to do some family photos this weekend. I have to say that we went about it the right way this time. We went to the park with a friend, and just walked around and played with our kids. Not only are the pics pretty good but we had a good time too. It isnt the easiest thing to get good pictures of Lou she moves way too fast, but the casualness of the experience made it a lot easier, and we all left pretty happy. I am so tired of the whole posing for pictures fiasco. This way was much easier and yielded much better results. Thanks again Photo Girl!

I like TV... so sue me

I grew up watching TV, back when I was growing up that wasn't considered a bad thing. I have to admit that I like TV. I also let my children watch TV... apparently in this day and age that makes me a bad mom. The TV that I let my children watch revolves heavily around PBS and actually teaches my kids. For example the other day Bug came to me and actually used the word reassemble. I was floored! She used it in the right context, and she and could tell me exactly what it ment, and the definition of disassemble as well. I asked her where she learned it and, while I was expecting her to say school, her response was that she learned from a TV program. I gotta say I was surprised. I have to admit that I do occasionally let them watch things other than PBS, but that is usually something their father turns on  for them (he loves Sponge Bob). 

I myself watch a lot of TV, I will admit it. I am a fan of TV, it is a good escape for me. I have a lot of stress in my life. Yes I get that there are people who have it harder but,this is my chosen method of escape. I don't usually watch until my children go to bed and then I am a complete couch potato. Hey at least I admit it. I am absolutely happy if I can start watching TV at about 9pm with a bowl of Ice cream in hand, and fall asleep on the couch by about 11.  I like the shows that are really far fetched. They are my break from reality. Lost, Heroes, Alias, Veronica Mars, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, etc. I watch very little reality TV, (American Idol, and the Amazing Race, they are cheesy I know) I don't really want reality, I get enough reality, I want something non reality so that I can totally zone out. I also get completely obsessed with my shows, I mean REALLY obsessed! I love getting my friends as obsessed as I am. Every time our friend Leah comes into town I get her watching a new show and we have these all night marathons. This weekend it was Big Bang Theory, and season three of Veronica Mars. It is awesome because then I have someone who will talk to me about it. Shane won't watch TV with me most of the time so this is basically my version of girl talk. 

By the way I read a lot of books too! So there!

What is with all the days off...

My kids are out of school today... so are all of the rest of the kids in Utah. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, I just don't want them in my house all day. I dread the three months they get off in the summer. What it comes down to is that  I get used to them being gone all day. I do like having them around, but once school is in I get very spoiled. I have a very nice quiet house all day, and then all of the sudden all hell breaks loose! Noisy noisy noisy! I can't get anything done, they make messes all the time, & they are constantly asking for snacks. I think that children should be in school every day, accept maybe sunday. You all think I am joking, well I am not! 

I am one of those people who just wants to be left alone most of the time not because I don't love my family, it is just that I get used to things being a certain way. I also believe that married people should not be together all  the time. S and I make each other crazy when he has a day off. Usually by the time he goes back to work we are both really grateful. Vacations are another story. We are so busy doing things that we don't have the chance to bug each other. When we are all home we go crazy. 

I am not handicapped

I have a daughter that is disabled. I have a handicap parking tag. I am not disabled. I just wanted to get that out before I start. We have this tag because she has a wheelchair and it makes it easier to get her out of the car when we park in handicap parking because the space next to the car is larger. We do not have the tag so that we can park wherever we want. I can't tell you how many times I have someone tell me that I am lucky to have it because that means I can get good parking all the time. They are always so surprised when I say that I don't use it if Lou is not in the car. Inevitably they always ask "why?". Well hello! I am not disabled... duh! I am perfectly capable of walking from a parking space further away. In fact I could probably use the exercise. Why would a perfectly healthy person need to park in a handicap space. Especially when there are people out there who actually need them. 

The first day of school I pulled into the parking lot to take my children in. I have to park and take them in because Lou is not capable of walking across the parking lot without being hit by a car. There was a woman who pulled into the handicap space right in front of me. She did not have a tag to park there. I rolled down my window and politely told her that that space was for people who need it and she ignored me and got her kids out  of her car and went into the school. Needless to say I was a little angry! I counted that morning and of the 4 handicap spaces that were all full three didn't have tags. I will admit I was petty and turned her into the office, as well as all of the others, and I hope they all got tickets! 

Nothing makes me more mad than pulling into a handicap space, and realizing someone has left their grocery cart in the space. This makes me mad in normal parking spaces, but it makes me twice as mad when it is in a handicap space. Now I am perfectly capable of getting out of my car and moving it, because my tag is for my disabled daughter. However I would say that most people who have these tags have them for themselves, and are not as capable of doing this. 

So to sum up, don't park where you shouldn't be and don't leave things where they don't belong. (wow I sound like a mom!)

Why would you do that?

I dyed my hair really dark about a year ago. Everyone accept for my very supportive husband hated it. (Thank you S!) I found out that one person told me that they liked it just to tick someone else off. What is that all about? Why would you compliment someone and tell them you like something just to make someone else mad. Has anyone else ever done that? Would you ever be so annoyed by someone that you would tell a bold faced lie just to be different than them? I have to say that it kind of hurt my feelings too. Here I thought that I was being complimented and they were just saying it for revenge. To top it off I don't think that the person they were trying to get the attention from even noticed. It seems pretty petty to me. So here it is, the big question. Would you ever say or do something like that just to tick someone else off?

I am back to blond by the way... we will see how long that lasts!

I'm tired...

I find myself saying the same phrase all the time. "I'm tired." I say this whether it is true or not. This has developed into a bad habit. I am not tired all the time I just feel the need to say it because I can come up with another way to describe what I am feeling. What I should probably say is something like I am worn out, or I don't want to do this anymore. (That is of corse referring to whatever I happen to be doing at the time.) I do have my times when I am truly exhausted, don't get me wrong. I know every mom has those moments when you have been at work, done nothing but laundry all weekend, the kids have been sick, and the last thing you want to think about is what you are making for dinner. I just need to get out of the habit of thinking that a little extra sleep is really going to make a difference. I get plenty of sleep, unlike S who never seems to get a full nights sleep. (However he does function awfully well for never sleeping.) I guess what I am saying is that everyone feels tire sometimes and I just need to buck up and deal when I do and shut up when I really don't. 

Sick Kids

OK so I was all ready to rant about something else when Lou got sick. This is so hard sometimes. She is a sweet kid when she is sick, very cuddly. The problem is that when she is sick like today with a stomach virus, you really have to watch out. She is totally non-verbal and when she spews there is no warning. You are sitting there all cuddly with her and all of the sudden you are covered with whatever she had for lunch. I like to think that after ten years of this I have a pretty strong stomach, but I am probably mistaken. Bug is so much easier sometimes. "Mom I am going to throw up." "OK run for the bathroom", or "Here have a bowl". 

Now S is getting sick too, which never happens. I know whine, whine, whine. I guess if it is snowing outside and I wasn't planning on doing anything today anyway then why not.

Once more with feeling

here is the website again I guess it is caps sensitive

http://www.our-kids.org/Archives/Holland.html

Retail

So I guess I can add to my blog now. Apparently blogspot thought that my blog was spam and I wasn't allowed to add to it until they reviewed it and got back to me. It seems as though they have reviewed but never got back to me, so here I am just assuming I can't add anything. 

I was trying to figure out what to write about the other day and I guess my job is the thing on my mind the most lately. I work an easy little retail job, and I love it. It doesn't make me any money, and in fact S says they should just garnish my check and pay me with childrens clothes. I sort of agree. I believe that everyone should be forced to work in some sort of service industry at some point in their lives. People are so rude! They come in and feel that they can talk to you any way they want because in their opinion they pay my paycheck. Unless they live in New Jersey and work in the accounting department of the company I work for then no they don't. Their measly $20 purchase doesn't even make a dent in the amount of money the store makes and yet they feel they can make me do whatever they want. I get that it is my job to do whatever it takes to make the customer happy, but some people take it too far. so here is my list of things that you should never do to someone who works retail. 

1. Do not come in and expect to return something that you purchased that is now on sale without a reciept and expect to get your full refund back. We don't know when it was purchased and we don't remember you coming in and purchasing it. 

2. Don't return something just because the frickin button fell off. Get a stupid needle and thread and sew it back on!

3. Do no tell me that you pay my check!

4. Do not show up at the store at ten minutes before closing time and hang around for the next half hour and expect us to be happy about it. Some of us have been standing on our feet for the last 8 hours and want to go home to our families. 

5. Don't just drop things wherever you want. If you dont know where you got something from come and give it to someone who works there, and we will put it away. 

So those are my gripes I guess I am done. If you want to argue please feel free to comment, just don't expect me to be nice!

Holland mom

So I guess I should begin by explaining why I am a "Holland mom". First here is the link to the website that explains the Holland part. www.our-kids.org/archives/holland.html

I am the mother of twin girls that were born 14 weeks premature. They are ten now and Lou has Cerebral Palsey and is Autistic. Bug has complex partial seizures as well as learning disabilities. 

I am starting this blog to be able to tell the world what I think about raising kids, being a wife, being a mormon, and being me. I guess I have a lot to rant about and I will try not to be too negative, but sometimes I guess I will have to let loose. If you feel you need to post a response feel free but please put your name on them so I know who  you are, especially if you have a negative comment!

More later.

Sarah