I looked at my husband last night an said "I've had it!" I don't want to feel like this anymore.... Oh wait it isn't what you think!
I have decided that I am going to be healthier. I know I have said this before, but this time I mean it. Let me tell you why. About a month ago I decided that I was cutting out sugar in my diet. It went really well for a while, I had very little sugar, and I did feel a lot better. However I have absolutely no will power and I eventually gave in. I think yesterday was my low point. We had the girls birthday party last week and so the house we have had a lot of sweets hanging around anyway, but I had to compound it with the donuts that I purchased on Monday to hand out in their classes. And since they were buy a dozen and get a dozen free, I had to get some for us too. Then about half of the donuts for the classes came home with the girls anyway. So we have birthday treats, cupcakes, and donuts just sitting around getting stale, and I spent money on them so I feel like I just have to do something so it isn't a waste of money. The solution is of course to eat them all myself. I am ashamed to say that I probably ate about 6 Krispy Kream donuts yesterday, along with two frozen burritos I had for lunch, and a couple of scotcheroos.
Needless to say I was not in a good mood yesterday. When I am "sugar mommy" I am not pleasant to be around. I do not feel good, I am impatient, I am angry, and I yell a lot, for no particular reason. By the time last night rolled around I was not a fun person to be around. This was sort of like hitting bottom for me. I decided right then and there that things were going to be different.
So here is the plan. I am recording on this very public blog what my stats are as of today, and I will make a monthly update to let you all have the chance to ridicule me if there is no change.
(This is probably the bravest thing I have ever done)
Natural waist: 35 inches
Hips: 38 inches
Bust: 38 inches
Bicep: 11 inches
Weight: 155 lb.
These are the areas I am the most worried about.
OK so don't get me wrong. I am not fat, I know this. I know there are people out there that truly struggle with their weight. I am not trying to belittle their struggle by saying that I am fat. I know that I am not!
I am however, very unhealthy. I am at the top weight I have ever been in my life, and that includes when I gave birth to my girls. I do not feel comfortable with my body and it is affecting the rest of my life. Plus now it is starting to affect my family as well.
I do not want this to happen anymore!!!!!!
Really this isn't about weight loss, it is about being healthy enough to feel good. It is about being healthy enough to take care of my family. It is about feeling good about myself, and knowing that I am trying my hardest to take care of myself. It is about setting a good example for my children so they will not have the same kind of struggle with their health that I have had.
I just want to do better, and from this day forward I will do just that.