Thursday, November 6, 2008

Old friends

I have never been the type of person who made friends easily. As a child I was shy and because I moved around a lot I had a hard time making friends. As a teenager I was very self-conscious and kind of a nerd. As an adult I think a lot of people find me abrasive and loud.

I have recently found my way onto facebook and found a few old friends. It has confirmed for me that I have never had a lot of friends. I hardly knew anyone from high school to connect with and I don't have any friends that predate junior high to find. I can think of three friends that I have known for longer than I have been married that I keep in contact with, even then I only hear from them about once a year. I like to think that I am a friendly person, and that I like people. I just am not sure that people like me back. S on the other hand has found a long list of people to connect with (mostly women) and we see an entire group of people that he went to high school with at least every other month. I don't understand how someone who is as friendly as he is could have ended up with someone like me. Not that I think I am unfriendly just am not good at maintaining friendships. I spend time with exactly three people in my neighborhood on a social level. They are the only ones that I see and talk to on a regular basis. I like a lot of the people in my neighborhood but I am not gutsy enough to just call someone up and invite them to go shopping or go to lunch. I think a lot of people would think of me as aggressive and they don't realize that it is a front for a lot of insecurity. I guess that those that can see past that are the ones that I actually end up calling friend. Maybe it is a consequence of my childhood that I just don't keep up with people well. I get very wrapped up with my own personal life and forget that I have friends that I should call. If there are any old friend out there that are reading this and feel badly that I haven't kept in touch just know that I am thinking of you and would love to hear from you! 


Sher said...

Hi Sarah!! I'm glad to have found your blog. I'm actually surprised to hear you say this, because for the 6 years that we lived next door to you, I thought you were one of the friendliest people I'd ever met.
I've actually e-met some really great gals out there through blogging. Clint calls them my imaginary friends, but it's better than nothing!
How are you liking your new house?

Jill said...

I'm the same way. I just get too caught up with my own life to stop and rellize that I have friends. I don't remember the last time we went out with friends. Greg on the other hand has millions of friends.

Your still a nerd!

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