Ode to Lou

So I haven't really explained my kids. I have twin girls that are ten years old. Lou (names have been changed to protect the innocent... he he) is autistic and has cerebral palsy. She is a really interesting kid. She is like a three year old stuck in a ten year old body. (Actually more like an 8 year old body because both of my girls are really small for their age.) Imagine if you will a three year old that can reach everything that they shouldn't. There are some really negative things about having a child like Lou. She  is not potty trained so she makes really bad smells. She also is fascinated with her diaper and so we have to put her in special under shirts so that she cant get into the source of the smell. When she does manage to get in it isn't pretty. She doesn't understand safety. So I have to keep one hand on her at all times so that she doesn't run in front of cars or walk off on her own. She does have a wheelchair, however she can walk so we don't take it everywhere. For instance we are not allowed to take it to school for her (yes I mean allowed, the district will not let us). For church, restaurants,  and shopping it is really handy though. She is completely non verbal. Yes that is right no talking. She cant tell me when she is sick, or when she is mad, or when she is happy. I have had to try to decipher these moods for some time now. Sometimes it is pretty obvious, and sometimes it is not. Lou does not understand that she shouldn't touch certain things. Like hot stoves, or dog poop. She also doesn't understand not to stick her finger into her nose so she gets it so far in that she makes it bleed and then wipes it all over my house.  She also has a high threshold for pain so it is hard to tell when she is really hurt. A few years ago she broke her arm (all she was trying to do was climb up into a chair), we couldn't tell if there was even something serious wrong because she was hardly crying. She is also very strong, she hurts without knowing that she is hurting, and sometimes she gets a kick out of your reaction when she does hurt. She bites, she spits, she pinches, she hits, she drools, and she is very mean sometimes.  Needless to say she can be a very difficult child.

On the other hand she is beautiful. She has the best laugh in the whole world. I love to make her giggle because it doesn't matter how down I am it will always make me smile. She gives the best and tightest hugs. She loves everyone unconditionally. It doesn't matter if they are mean or nice to her she treats everyone the same. She has a few signs that she can do with her hands and has learned a few animal sounds. If you sit still long enough she will show you all of them. Her favorite sign is banana, she could eat bananas all day and never get sick of them. She has beautiful strawberry/red hair that shines all the time. She has beautiful red lips that love to give kisses. She loves to tell you all about her puppy, and her Daddy, and her Mommy  and her sister Bug. Lou loves Sponge Bob Square Pants. If you turn this on expect to hear squeals of glee coming from her direction. She has a great sense of humor, and loves to hear others laugh. She loves to play hide and seek , but you cant hide when she is in the room or she will always give you away. She is the smartest kid, but she just cant express it. 

I used to feel sorry for  myself for having a kid like Lou. Now I feel sorry for Lou for having a mom that isn't worthy of her. That is not me getting down on myself, that is me saying that even the most perfect mom would never be worthy to have such a great kid, because no matter what else I can say to describe her, the best word to use for Lou is PERFECT!