Nothing to talk about

So I feel that I should blog because I haven't for a while. I have nothing to blog about, this is my dilemma. 

I am sick once again, but everyone has heard about that. My kids have been sick... ditto. I had to work today but since I spent the majority of my time working in the back room, there are no customers to complain about. Christmas was good and is now over once again. I am actually enjoying having my family home right now but will not be disappointed when it is time for school to start on Monday. 

I guess the highlight of the last few weeks has been spending time with the family. S and I have become quite addicted to playing Mario Kart, and it is pretty funny to watch Bug play too. We have seen a few good movies, and seen our families. I have enjoyed sleeping in and am trying not to let the weather get me down. I guess over all other than the sick stuff the last week has been pretty calm and I have very few complaints. 

WOW it is a Christmas miracle!! Sarah is not complaining for once! Just enjoy it while it lasts!!!

Incapable

For one  reason or another I have never been able to sleep past 4 am on Christmas. As a child I believe the reason was self evident. As an adult the reason varies but really the result is the same. So here I am once again blogging at almost 5 am, only this time there area few more excuses than when I was up at this hour as a kid. 

I think that I was probably the worse one of my parents children when it came to Christmas morning. I don't think I was ever capable of sleeping past about 4 am as a kid, no not once, and when I say kid I do mean I was still having this problem at the age of 18. To my credit I wasn't always the instigator of the trouble I was just usually the first one awake. I don't remember my Dad ever being in a good mood on Christmas morning because we always woke him up so early that really how could he be. My mother would set traps, she would sleep on the couch in front of the tree, or she would put things on the stairs that made noise. One year all she did was put a black garbage bad of wrapping paper by the stairs and it just looked so suspicious that we didn't dare pass it. That only worked once! I distinctly remember the year that my Grandparents spent the night with us sleeping in the hide-a-bed in the living room. Their bed separated us from the tree and so my sister and I tried to crawl underneath it to get to the toys at 4 am. Lets just say that didn't end well. It was the only time in my life I had ever heard my Grandpa use that tone of voice, it scared us to death! 

As an adult I like to think that it is just that I have so much on my mind that I can't sleep. Really I am just excited. I would like to say it is that I am excited for my kids. The problem is, how do I explain the 5 years of our marriage before we had kids? I guess I will just have to admit that I am just excited for myself. After all there are all kinds of presents under the tree for me too! Having children does help however because it gives me a convenient excuse to be up at this time of night. We are getting up at this time regularly anyway. (If you want to know why just look at the entry marked "Why can't I sleep?") Tonight, however I have even more excuses. Bug will NOT sleep tonight!!! S said that he was up with her countless times while I was sleeping, and she was still awake when we went to bed at 11:30. The other and more legitimate excuse is that Lou is sick... again! She is running a fever and that makes me unable to sleep due to worry. It is bad enough that we are contemplating leaving her in bed while the rest of us open presents. I do believe that she has been sick for every Christmas of her entire life. The poor kid! So while I do have excuses that doesn't explain why I am up right now, accept to say that... well... its Christmas. 

Frustrated!

I told everyone at work that I would blog about what someone did to me yesterday. I told S about it and he said it didn't sound all that bad, but I guess it is a perspective thing. Anyway here goes.

Here is the phone conversation I had at work.... keep in mind these people call during a really busy time on the busiest shopping day of the year....

 me: "Layton hills Children's Place this is Sarah."

guy: "Hi, do you have any boys size 5 pants?"

me: ".......... um... yes......"

guy: "could you put some on hold for us"

me-:" we have several different types of pants is there a particular kind that you want?"(listing in my mind the whole time the types, fleece, wind, jeans, chinos, chords, and hoping that he doesn't want me to list them for him)

guy:"oh.. yea, jeans"

me-:"oooooo k well we have several different styles of jeans"

(all during this conversation I can hear this guys wife in the back ground telling him what to say)

wife: "tell her to put them on hold"

guy: "Oh just grab a couple of different ones and put them on hold"

me: "ooooo k well we have several different washes too is there a particular kind you would like" (trying not  to show the frustration I am feeling)

wife: "just tell her to grab the most popular ones"

guy: "DO YOU JUST WANT TO TALK TO HER" ( to wife)

wife:"yes"

(at this point I don't just get on with the wife it is like they are both talking on the phone together, I can just picture them holding their heads together so they can both hear and talk on the phone)

wife-:"just pick out some of the most popular ones and put them on hold"

me:"well we are really well stocked in the boys jeans, you shouldn't have trouble finding what you need" (seriously there are at least four pairs of size 5 jeans in each wash and style sitting on the shelves, I guarantee they would not all sell by the end of the day!)

wife: "oh just put some on hold for us, under the name Rachel" 

me: "we really do have a lot out it shouldn't be a problem to find what you need"

wife: "oh no I don't want to sort through them, just put a bunch on hold"

me: "OK but we can only hold until close tonight" (hoping this will be a deterrent)

wife: "that's fine"

both: (in unison) "hold it under Rachel"

at this point I am a little irritated... OK a lot irritated!

So in my head I am thinking fine I will show them I will bombard them with choices and be totally obnoxious. I go over to the jeans and grab one of each color and one of each style in the size 5. This is about 8 pairs of little boy jeans. Navigating the store when it is busy isn't always easy, it is a very small store and when it is packed with people, as it was at the time, it can get frustrating. So I finally make it back to the desk and of course there are customers waiting. I finish ringing customers and get back to the jeans. At this point my co-workers are thinking this is pretty funny, mostly because this has happened to all of us at one point or another. I would probably have been laughing if it was someone else, but since it was me.... I wasn't!

Anyway I grab all the jeans and start stuffing them in a huge bag because there are too many to hang or put in a smaller bag. I am looking for a hold tag when the phone rings. My co-worker answers it, because I am helping customers again, and I vaguely remember her telling someone that, no we only sell the slims online. She gets off the phone and says to me, "is that the hold for the lady on the phone?". I glare at her and slowly tell her, yes. "Well she doesn't want them anymore, she wants the slims" She says all this with a huge grin on her face. At that point I have to  make a decision. Do I let my head explode and make a mess all over the store, or do I just let it go. I think I came in somewhere in between. I made my way into the back, after helping a few more customers, and proceeded to tell my manager who was in the back all about it. I guess I was pretty animated because she was laughing. Maybe that was for the best because it made me laugh too. 

The whole thing bothered me for a couple of reasons. 

First: I HATE BEING THE GO BETWEEN, and I hate being one of the people talking to the go between. One person I know does that I  absolutely hate it!!! 

Second: I am not a personal shopper! That is not my job! I work a lowly retail job making almost nothing and I do not deserve to have to do this for people. I realize that this is the job of my choice, but good grief someone has to do it, we can't all be rocket scientists.

 Plus how hard it is to just come into a store and look on the shelves for what you need, especially after I told them that there were plenty there. Part of the problem is that people frequently don't believe that we actually know what we are talking about, because after all we are just lowly retail workers! 

I guess now that I put it down in print it doesn't sound all that bad either, maybe you just had to be there. 

Vacation?

So my girls are out of school for the next two weeks. I don't really think this counts as a vacation, at least not for me. Oh sure we have the opportunity to do all sorts of fun things when they are out of school but, do we... NO! We end up sitting at home watching TV or movies. Then we get bored and go to Grandmas or something else equally exciting and by the time they go back to school I am about ready to scream. I do love my girls but, I really have gotten used to them being in school all day and having a quiet house. I get to go to work, I get actual house work done, I run errands, I even get an occasional chance to go to lunch with my husband or with a friend. This is actually fun for me because most of my friends have younger kids, and I can sit back and watch them struggle with them and sigh with relief. It is very fulfilling. I know I should enjoy this time we have together but it just isn't what I am used to anymore. Don't even get me started on summer vacation... three months of torture! At least then I can just send them outside for hours at a time. Now we just get to do it in 30 minute intervals, if at all. Maybe the purchase of the Wii this year will help. At least it will give ME something to do. 

Favorite Memories

OK so I know this will be pretty narcissistic but I want to know how many people are actually reading my blog. So I want everyone to comment on this one. What is your favorite memory of me! I know totally vain, but that's me! In turn I will respond with my favorite memory of everyone who makes a comment.

The Best Christmas Party Ever

Last year my dad made it very clear that he wanted his family to do something worthwhile for Christmas for someone else. He put my sister in charge, which I think was a great idea, she has a lot more resources and is very smart about these things. As a result we had a great family party yesterday. We decided that instead of swapping presents between the siblings we would put our money together and do something good. It was the first time this season that I really felt the Christmas spirit. We bought gifts for people who needed them and all got together to wrap them and have cider and hang out as a family. I loved that I could teach my kids that it isn't about what you get but what you give, especially when you don't receive in return. We are planning on making this an annual event, and I have to say I am looking forward to it. We were broken into teams to shop and  I especially enjoyed hanging out with my nephew who was on my team. I don't have a really close relationship with my sisters boys they are teenagers and I don't think that their idea of fun is hanging out with their Aunt Sarah. I have always thought that Ethan and I are a lot alike and yesterday kind of confirmed that for me. He is a great kid, all of my sisters kids are great kids. I want to tell my family (I know they don't all read this but hey, at least it is out there) that I love them all very much. I love spending time with them and I think about them and pray for them every day. I hope they all have a wonderful Christmas season. 

Why can't I sleep.

So here I am again at 4 am blogging. We have been getting Bug up three times a night to go to the bathroom (see previous blog entitled The great Bug). The first is at 11 or 11:30 when we go to bed. The second is at 1:30 and the third is at 4. We have sort of arranged it so that when her alarm goes off at the earlier time I am the one that gets up and actually drags her from the bed. When it goes off at 4 S takes over. Occasionally this changes. The reason why I am willing to pull myself and her from our nice cozy beds only two hours after placing myself there is that if I am up at 4 am I don't go back down. For some reason if I wake up anytime after about 3 am I cannot get back to sleep at all. Well this morning I didn't have to get up with her but her alarm woke me up and that was enough to keep me up. Now is the time that the brain chooses to be awake and alert, if a little fuzzy. So here I am sitting in front of the computer trying to figure out what to blog about. I am usually a really heavy sleeper. S has always made fun of me for this. He says that I could sleep through a tornado and never notice, and when I am in a regular sleep cycle he is right. Lately that regular sleep cycle seems to be alluding me though. I have had a lot on my mind lately, some good, some bad. There are a few worries that have been keeping me up, but most have been resolved. So there is no legitimate reason right now as to why I can't turn my brain off. Oh well back to the old standby, going to see what is on the music video channels. Maybe by doing this I will find my next favorite song again. Here are some great songs that I have discovered by doing this. If anyone wants to hear samples just check out my facebook page

Bat for Lashes- Whats a girl to do

Against Me!- Thrash Unreal

Amy Winehouse- You know I'm No Good

Charlotte Sometimes- How I Could Just Kill a Man

Duffy- Mercy

Flyleaf- All Around Me

Foo Fighters- The Pretender

Kaiser Cheifs- Ruby

Ingrid Michaelson- The Way I Am

Lilly Allen- Smile

Muse- Supermassive Black Hole

Panic at the Disco- Nine in the Afternoon

Paramore- Misery Business

The Rapture- Whoo! Alright-Yeah... Uh Huh

Regina Spektor- Fidelity

Sick Puppies- All the Same

Silversun Pickups- Lazy Eye

In-Laws

I married into a great family. S and I got engaged after only 5 weeks of dating, and we met on a blind date. We hadn't even known each other for a full 6 months when we got married. When S told his mom that we were engaged she locked herself in her room and cried. I can't say I blame her. He told her several times that she would like me but, all she could say was that she didn't even know me. I don't think that we made it very easy on her. To her credit I have never heard another negative thing come from her again. 

My in-laws have always accepted me for who I am, especially my Mother-in-law. She is easily one of my best friends. She is the kindest and sweetest person I know. She cares more for her children and grandchildren than anyone I have ever known. She would gladly give her life for one of them. Both of them have accepted me into their family with a great deal of grace. They have always treated me like one of their own children. They are kind, they are gracious, they are giving. They give of their time like it means nothing to them. At the age of 74 they still babysit my kids and get mad at me when they have heard that I hired a babysitter. They both have more energy than people half their age and they use that energy to help those around them. They take care  of their family but they also take care of their friends. They have been caretakers of a sweet neighbor of theirs for several years now, taking her to church, bringing  her things she need and basically loving her like family. 

 They seem to truly love me like I am one of their own, and I can't help but love them all the more for it. They are the best people I know, and I am glad to count them as my friends. I truly love them and all that they are. 

The Great Bug

I had to wake my child up to go to the bathroom right before I went to bed tonight. When I finally got her back into bed she burst into a fit of giggles. I think she as actually asleep. This is the second time Bug has done this in the last few weeks. It is hilarious! What is great is that she will hold these completely nonsensical conversations with you at the same time. We have known for a long time that she talks in her sleep but the laughing in her sleep thing is new. 

Bug is the most original child on the planet. I know every parent thinks that about their child but I think it really is true for her. Bug had a rough start in life and it has never gotten easier. She and her Twin were born 14 weeks early. Bug's lungs both collapsed in the first week of her life and she has been nothing but drama ever since. I think that most people look at her and assume that she is my easy child in comparison to her sister. They are dead wrong. Part of the problem is that Bug is a little version of my Mother. I love my Mom but I don't want to be raising her. Bug is all about the fun, she doesn't see the point in doing anything that isn't fun, like homework, or chores, or eating. She is very easily distracted. We have recently found out part of the reason for that. Last year she was diagnosed with complex partial seizures. That means that her brain is having seizures but only part of it. We put her on a medication for it and proceeded to live through a 4 month nightmare. Needless to say it wasn't the right medication. We have her on something else right now and it seems to be doing the job. I hate that I have to medicate my child, but at the same time I wish there was a pill that would make her take life a little more seriously. She is doing better at focusing, some of that due to the meds and some of that due to some really awesome teachers (you know who you are). I attribute none of that to her lazy mother. She still struggles though. She is in special ed. at school for reading, math, writing, and social skills. It literally takes us hours every night to get through the small amount of homework that she brings home because she just can't focus. It is extremely frustrating and sometimes it is really hard not to get mad. She doesn't understand that kids her age think she is weird, so continues to do weird things that make her even more weird to them. Bug has some really frustrating bladder control issues. Aside from bed wetting she has trouble controlling her bladder during the day too. She cannot understand that it is no longer socially acceptable for her to be having accidents. She does it at school, church, and almost anywhere else, most of the time there is no warning either. It can be very hard not to be mad and I get embarrassed for her. The frustrating part is that she doesn't, sometime it seems that she doesn't care at all. She is very young for her age, and by that I mean immature. Because of this she has great deal of trouble making friends.  Bug doesn't understand rudeness, or politeness, or manners. Trust me we have tried to teach these things they just don't sink in. She cannot understand that people who think she is cute now will not think the things she does are cute in a few years. She talks all the time and at full volume. That is no exaggeration! She really does talk all the time! A few weeks ago Shane and I were in the car talking and realized that she had been talking to herself for the last 15 minutes. When I commented that maybe she thought that she was talking to Lou she said "No I am just talking to myself." It doesn't matter if anyone is listening or not. I know every parent out there is saying that their kid does those things too, but I have seen how other kids interact and what the maturity level is of the other kids in her class and she isn't even close. 

On the other hand... she is awesome. I have never seen a kid that could charm adults like she can. She can make a person her best friend in about a minute and a half. Really the best word to use for her really is charming. She is a charming little girl. She makes me laugh out loud every day. Her perspective on life is actually very refreshing sometimes. Life is about enjoyment for Bug. If you cant have fun doing something then why bother doing it. She can make even the most mundane task seem like going to Disney Land. There was a time when all we had to do to make her day was take her to the mall to have lunch in the food court. Every time we took her anywhere she would grab our hand and say "This is the best day ever, huh Mom" for about a year and a half every day was the best day ever. She is very easy to please. She is absolutely beautiful and her charm just explodes out of her in a halo that covers anyone within hearing range of her.  I know a lot of people would disagree with me but I think her best feature is her stunning green eyes (I always wanted green eyes) and her beautiful soft red hair. She loves princesses and Hannah Montana (much to mom and dads dismay). She LOVES to read, and can almost always be found with a book in her hand, even while jumping on the trampoline. She loves the few friends she has and is fiercely loyal. She thinks that her family is the best in the world and we think she is the best thing in the world too. 

Random complaints

So I sit down to blog and all of the sudden my mind goes completely blank. Why  is this? I can think of things to write about all of the time accept when I am sitting in front of the computer. I guess I will just get some things off of my chest.

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I had to work yesterday, it went so slowly. I guess part of the problem is that I really didn't want to be there. Listening to cheesy Christmas music all day, constantly having people ask for stuff I can't deliver, and standing on my feet forever. S says that I am selling myself short when I say that retail is the only thing I am qualified for, but it really is true. I have had office jobs. I hate them! I don't want to sit in a chair all day, I don't want to work at a computer all day, and I hate office politics. I need a job where I can move around and feel like I am helping people. I have always wanted to teach high school maybe this really is the time for me to go back to school and learn how to do that. 

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We are having our work Christmas party tonight. Yes I know that its Sunday. I work retail people. The only day of the week that we don't close at 9pm is Sunday. This way whoever is working today actually has a chance of coming to the party. I have volunteered to host this party, partially because I like always being the host (just call me Monica) and partially because I only live 5 minutes from work, so it will be easy for whoever is there to get to my house quickly. Most of my coworkers know that I have a new house and will be expecting a tour. This means that I have to clean my entire house. Ugh! Not looking forward to that. Now if I was a decent house keeper maybe that wouldn't be as much of an issue, however I am not. I am a lousy house keeper. I HATE HOUSEWORK!!!!!!! I am not one of those people that will clean just for the satisfaction of seeing things clean or for the enjoyment of doing it. Usually I need an excuse to clean, like someone is coming, or it is too disgusting to enter a room anymore. Oh well I guess this is my excuse. 

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I am so tired of Christmas music, I blame my work. If I have to hear that stupid Santa Baby song or the duet where the guy is trying to convince the girl to stay because it is cold outside again I think I will scream. If they would just leave good songs alone maybe it would be fine, but they insist on getting  two or three of the most terrible remakes ever made and putting them on our CD at work, and then playing them over and over. I swear I heard the same song six times yesterday. It is only the 7th of December and I never want to hear Christmas music again. And why when I say this can't anyone understand this. I get people calling me Scrooge or saying Bah Humbug. First of all have some originality and, second everyone is entitled to an opinion. Just because I don't like Christmas music doesn't mean I don't like Christmas and it doesn't mean I don't want to celebrate Christs birth. So there!

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I guess those were all sort of work related, Well now you all know what is on my mind the most lately. 

Funny!

This is my blog for the day.

http://bewareofthedoghouse.com/videoPage.aspx

Ode to Lou

So I haven't really explained my kids. I have twin girls that are ten years old. Lou (names have been changed to protect the innocent... he he) is autistic and has cerebral palsy. She is a really interesting kid. She is like a three year old stuck in a ten year old body. (Actually more like an 8 year old body because both of my girls are really small for their age.) Imagine if you will a three year old that can reach everything that they shouldn't. There are some really negative things about having a child like Lou. She  is not potty trained so she makes really bad smells. She also is fascinated with her diaper and so we have to put her in special under shirts so that she cant get into the source of the smell. When she does manage to get in it isn't pretty. She doesn't understand safety. So I have to keep one hand on her at all times so that she doesn't run in front of cars or walk off on her own. She does have a wheelchair, however she can walk so we don't take it everywhere. For instance we are not allowed to take it to school for her (yes I mean allowed, the district will not let us). For church, restaurants,  and shopping it is really handy though. She is completely non verbal. Yes that is right no talking. She cant tell me when she is sick, or when she is mad, or when she is happy. I have had to try to decipher these moods for some time now. Sometimes it is pretty obvious, and sometimes it is not. Lou does not understand that she shouldn't touch certain things. Like hot stoves, or dog poop. She also doesn't understand not to stick her finger into her nose so she gets it so far in that she makes it bleed and then wipes it all over my house.  She also has a high threshold for pain so it is hard to tell when she is really hurt. A few years ago she broke her arm (all she was trying to do was climb up into a chair), we couldn't tell if there was even something serious wrong because she was hardly crying. She is also very strong, she hurts without knowing that she is hurting, and sometimes she gets a kick out of your reaction when she does hurt. She bites, she spits, she pinches, she hits, she drools, and she is very mean sometimes.  Needless to say she can be a very difficult child.

On the other hand she is beautiful. She has the best laugh in the whole world. I love to make her giggle because it doesn't matter how down I am it will always make me smile. She gives the best and tightest hugs. She loves everyone unconditionally. It doesn't matter if they are mean or nice to her she treats everyone the same. She has a few signs that she can do with her hands and has learned a few animal sounds. If you sit still long enough she will show you all of them. Her favorite sign is banana, she could eat bananas all day and never get sick of them. She has beautiful strawberry/red hair that shines all the time. She has beautiful red lips that love to give kisses. She loves to tell you all about her puppy, and her Daddy, and her Mommy  and her sister Bug. Lou loves Sponge Bob Square Pants. If you turn this on expect to hear squeals of glee coming from her direction. She has a great sense of humor, and loves to hear others laugh. She loves to play hide and seek , but you cant hide when she is in the room or she will always give you away. She is the smartest kid, but she just cant express it. 

I used to feel sorry for  myself for having a kid like Lou. Now I feel sorry for Lou for having a mom that isn't worthy of her. That is not me getting down on myself, that is me saying that even the most perfect mom would never be worthy to have such a great kid, because no matter what else I can say to describe her, the best word to use for Lou is PERFECT!

Old friend and good friends

It seems lately like I have been doing a lot of friend finding. I blame facebook. It is so easy to get on there and find people I haven't seen in years. We recently found some old friends of ours that we haven't seen in about ten years. We have been talking back and forth, you know sending messages to each other. Well we finally got together with them last night. While wandering around Temple Square looking at the lights, we reminisced a little. OK a lot! Wow what a flashback. We were friends with these people pre-children. We were married for 5 years before we had our kids so we had a lot of pre-children years. They were a pretty big part of our lives for quite a while. S worked with them both at one point and so there was a big work connection. I remember their wedding, their families, their first apartment with the green leather couches. I remember going to concerts up at Wolf Mountain with them, sitting on blankets and making fun of the warm up band. Being with them last night really reminded me of what a good time we used to have. I remember the four of us hanging out in her room watching Better Off Dead (they did this for my benefit because I had never seen it before). Jeff (one of the old friends) seems to remember us beating a hasty path homeward at one point, but I don't remember that. 

The point of this whole ramble is that it really took me back. Watching S and Jeff now was like watching them when they were both in their early 20's again. It was really funny. Like watching little boys play in the back yard. It was like no time had passed at all between the four of us. I think we bored their daughter to death, but we had a great time and really enjoyed catching up. I have really enjoyed catching up with old friends lately. I like to think they have enjoyed it too. 

Sorry!

My husband apparently was very offended by my post about marriage and time off work. So I am officially apologizing for posting that especially since it was just the first day of the 5 day weekend. I have to admit that it was a good weekend, even with every one home. I am sorry S!