Wordless Wednesday (Through the eyes of an 11 year old)

Better late than never

I know I should have done this post a few days ago, but I just can't seem to find the time to sit in front of the computer anymore.

Anyway....

I would really like to thank the wonderful ladies that made the effort to come to my "Blogger Thing" last Friday evening. We had some good food, some equally great "girl time".

Some made an extraordinary effort and drove a very long way, to be here.

I would just like to give each of you and individual shout out for making the effort!

Sher, you are beautiful, I am so glad to have met you all those years ago!

The Boob Nazi- I would just like to know, when the freak did you go private?!

Jo- You are my mentor, and one of the smartest people I know!

Elaine- I cant believe I have known you longer than anyone there! I thoroughly enjoyed having you there, and love your post about it!

Fiauna- You are truly and inspiration, and I need to work harder to have your sense of calm.

Val- I love your energy! You made the party very lively, and I loved getting to know you!

In my advanced age I keep thinking I forgot someone... good grief there were only six people present.... Oh wait there was one more...

If you want to know who that was, go here.

And as expected he truly was the life of the party!

I would just like to know why no one suggested a picture?

Tomorrow night people!

A long time coming

I may have mentioned before that I would really like to have a blogger get together at my house. Well I am biting the bullet and just going for it. Here are the details...

My house

(if you want to know where that is just email me or comment and I will email you back)

Friday March 26th 7:30 pm

Bring something yummy to snack on, since I am not a restaurant and I don't want to provide dinner for my own family much less a bunch of crazybloggers.

I am doing this in the hopes that I will be able to meet some of you in person and put some names to faces.

Everyone who reads this is invited, and if you know someone who would be interested who isn't a regular reader, bring them along too.

(You may even get a prize for bringing a friend!)

Please leave a comment if you plan on attending!

Well Duh!

According to Redbook Magazine 79% of men think that the number one thing a woman can do to make herself more attractive is to wear a low cut top....

Really?

What a shocker!!!!!

What Happens on the Playground Stays on the Playground

Actual Conversation

Picture the scene with me if you will....

A recess duty (that would be me) walking around observing and admonishing children on a playground. (Go figure huh). She is joined by Turtle (I did not have to make up a name this time, he calls himself that, and no it is not his actual name.) a third grader of the male persuasion, who actively enjoys hanging out with the "doodies".

Turtle: How come you keep walking so much.

Me: I have to so I can see everything I need to see, it's my job.

Turtle: I am going to invent a machine that you can sit in and not have to move at all.

Me: That's called a car.

Turtle: Yeah but you still have to move your arms, in my machine you will just think you want to go another direction and you will go there.

Me: So we can all get fat, like in WALL-E.

Turtle: Yep that would be awesome.

Me: (Laughing a little) Well you better get going on that.

Turtle: Well I have to graduate from college first (a little indignant).

(pause)

Turtle: Hey by the time I graduate from college you will probably be dead anyway.

Me: (Looking VERY indignant!) I am not that old! How old do you think I am anyway?

Turtle: Forty Nine.

Me: Are you kidding me? Turtle that hurt! (pretending to be in pain)

Turtle: Well you look pretty old.

(P.S. I am actually only 35, that really did hurt, even from a third grader!)

Things I don't want to do anymore

Things I don't want to do anymore

Think

Get out of bed

Go to meetings

Make life changing decisions

Be spit on

Fill up sippie cups

Dole out medications

Say no

Make meals

Clean my house

Stand outside in the rain

Yell at children that are not my own

Argue with children that are not even 12 years old yet

Be told that I look my age or older

Nag

Watch blindly as people do things that I know are wrong

Exercise

Skip exercising

Eat because I am stressed out

Smile when I don't feel like it

Answer questions about my personal life

Pay bills that I don't have the money to pay

Accept that I have TWO disabled children

Be cheerful

Be negative

Laundry

Whine

Depressed

I am depressed

Not that this is a surprising thing for me this time of year.

This however, is different.

I am not depressed because of the weather.

OK so I am a little depressed because of the weather, will it ever be sunny for more than a day or two at a time?

No my depression stems from the extreme frustration that seems to have seeped it's way into my life lately. Frustration that stems from all of the decisions that have to be made

RIGHT NOW!

For instance, I am having some health problems lately. I have an ovary that is not behaving itself. It should have been removed last year when I had my last "procedure" but alas it was not. So now I have to decide if and when that will be removed. Not only that but I need to make a life altering decision about weather it is best to remove everything else related to the baby growing process as well. Yes I do mean the dreaded Hysterectomy. I am leaning toward not. This is a big decision and I don't want to have to revisit this issue in a year again.

Then there is the issue of Lou Lou.

Her behavior is getting very difficult to deal with. I have been in tears twice in the last twelve hours because of a certain behavior that she has decided to revisit. I am trying to find a Child Psychiatrist that will take patients without Medicaid and will also take our insurance. This is more difficult than it sounds. Something must be done though.

And SOON!

She is getting very defiant, and more difficult to handle than usual. So now I need to find a doctor that will prescribe her something to keep her calm, so that we can actually take care of her. I do not like drugging my child. I have to do that enough with her sister.

Speaking of The Bug,

we finally got her school placement changed. We have been working with the school district since November. It is now mid March and we have finally been granted what we asked for all those months ago. She will be placed in a Learning Center classroom as of next week. However the school that we are transferring her to is a year round school, and her new class goes off track as of next Monday. So now we have to wait another two weeks to put her where she belongs and can get the most help. I have to decide if we are keeping her in her current class for the next two weeks or just letting her go off track when the new class does. This is the easiest decision of them all right now. I do however want to make sure that we are doing the right thing in changing her school placement in the first place. This means not only a new class, and a new group of kids, but an entirely different school with an entirely different schedule. It also means a change from Mom taking her to school, to being bussed. The good thing about it is that she will be in the same school with the kids from our neighborhood. She will not be in the same class with any of them though.

I do not do well with decisions lately. I have a hard time choosing what I am going to wear every day. I just don't trust myself with the big stuff anymore for some reason. It is making me want to crawl back into bed and just sleep for the rest of the year, and its only March! I cannot seem to get past my weight issue either. I know most people look at me and don't have much sympathy. I am not fat, but I feel like I am. I weigh more now than I did when I gave birth to my girls. I do not feel good. I try to do things that will help, but I have a tendency to eat when I am stressed out, and I AM STRESSED OUT! I think I ate all day yesterday. Then I was more depressed because I can't seem to control my eating.

It just makes me want to cry.

It's such a vicious circle.

I have no time for other people or their problems, not because I am so busy, but because I can't seem to care. I have so many things on my own mind that it is like there is not room for anything else. I feel badly because I have friends that I know could use a shoulder to cry on right now, but I just can't bring myself to think of anything else. I have a hard time putting into words exactly how much stress this is causing in my life.

I know this is depressing post, please forgive me if I have ruined your day.

I just need to get it out sometimes.