Monday, August 10, 2009

Misleading...

I am afraid that my last post was a little misleading. I am afraid I give people the impression that I hate my life and hate being a parent. Some have even got the impression that parenthood has made me miserable. I would like to dispel this myth. I love my life! I love my children! I love my husband! I am one of the luckiest people I know, because I have everything I always wanted and prayed for. I think people hear each other complain occasionally and assume that whatever they are complaining about is what they hate about life. Sometimes even the things we love make us crazy. People frequently think that marriage and kids should equal "happily ever after", well it doesn't.
Marriage is work!
If you start out your marriage assuming that the hard part is over you are sadly mistaken. Children have a way of making your marriage even more work and if you don't already have a firm foundation in your marriage then they can certainly rip it apart. I think the fact that I am still married to the amazing man that I fell in love with 16 years ago proves that we do have a firm foundation, not only that but we continue to work on that foundation so that it will not crumble away from lack of care. Neither my husband or I are not perfect, and if there are those out there that have assumed that we think we are, then they have mislead themselves, because we never claimed to be. I have had a difficult life since becoming a mother, but that doesn't mean that I do not enjoy being one.
If you want to know how I really feel about my children read this and this!
It does not make me unhappy!
In fact it is the most amazing thing I have ever done it my life. It has taught me more and brought me more joy than I could have ever imagined. There is a line in my Patriarchal blessing that says "The greatest blessing that women have been given upon this earth is to be able to create children. You will never realize what love really is, until you have a child of your own as part of your own body." The most amazing gift I have ever been given is my children.
That doesn't mean that I don't get frustrated, every parent does!
My children have never been easy to take care of.
I have had an infant for 11 years now.
I get exhausted,
stressed,
frustrated,
angry,
and depressed
on a daily basis, but these feelings are fleeting. The feelings that last are the ones of
joy,
satisfaction,
love,
and contentment, but
No one feels content while trying to remove bodily fluids from their carpet!
I would ask this of those that expect me to enjoy every minute of every day...
Do you do the same?
Don't you get angry sometimes?
Don't you want to scream "Why me"?
I think the normal people are the ones that do want that question answered sometimes. If you don't then well.... I guess you are a stronger person than I am, but that doesn't make you better than me it just means you have different weaknesses.
Maybe pride is one if them!
I guess what I am trying to say is, don't judge me from one post. Don't assume you know me because we see each other for a couple of hours every few months. Everyone struggles, and just because I have a celestial child living in my home with me doesn't mean that it is easy to remember that all the time!

8 comments:

Jillene said...

I just read your last post and all I can say is that I am glad that you keep it real on our blog. Life is not always rainbows and lollipops. I can't say that I know how you feel or that I have the same problems that you do but I am always here if you want to e-mail me.

Taylor said...

Well said. I have a pretty good idea of what your life is like, and you are happy most of the time! Although I also know that when you are venting, that is what it is, venting, and not a constant state of mind.

M-Cat said...

No judging here my friend. Every Mom has her moments, days, weeks, hell, I am going on years of struggles with a particular child who unfortunately is far from celestial. And I suppose that if someone were to look at me from the outside they might have a completely different take on what the "real story" is.

I love your honesty, and your willingess to say it like it is!

I like what Taylor said. There is venting. That's all it is, venting. Not a state of mind.

Hang in there girl, I think there are more of us out here who feel like you do, and am glad you put it in words.
xoxox
M

val of the south said...

Wow, I had no idea what you go through - and for heavens sake - you should be able to rant all you like without any judgement!!

I too feel frustrated, exhausted, stressed and even resentful and then guilty when they won't just let me be for a few minutes. I love my kids, but it's hard being "on" 24/7. I think all those emotions are just part of the package.

I really appreciate you keeping it real here.

Crazy? Who's Crazy? said...

Knew you had the right attitude the whole time ;). <3

Sher said...

I love your words. I love how to put it. It's not always happily ever after.

I absolutely love my children and husband, but sometimes, being the Mom isn't my favorite thing to do. I don't think people who don't have to do it (i.e. husbands) realize just how hard it is.

I'm glad you say it like it is. That's why I like you so much!

Fiauna said...

Yep. I get you. I totally understand and have felt the same way for the last ten years. (((hugs)))

ZiggyandFamily said...

Amen!!!

 
Blog Widget by LinkWithin