Thursday, May 14, 2009

Just Call Me Ultraviolet Girl



I am pale. This is a statement of fact. I have what is referred to as a red-head complexion. Without the red hair, which I wish I had because at least then people would get that the paleness is expected. I have to paint on almost every bit of color I have in my face plus, I do not tan... ever! I burn terribly whenever I am in the sun for more than a half hour. You would think that the burn would turn into a tan, but no, I peel and then just go back to white again. This is truly something that bothers me. People have always told me that if I try hard enough and go out for 30 minutes every day I can get some color. In high school I did indeed put this theory to the test. During my summer break I was out every day laying on my lawn chair trying to enjoy the sun.
Did it work you ask?
NO!
It did not.
All this seemed to accomplish was creating so many freckles on my arms and face that I looked like I was splashed with mud, the result of which was my mother constantly telling me to go wash my face. I do believe that this is why I rarely had acne problems as a teenager. I had the cleanest face of anyone on the planet. Did I mention that I do have freckles? The problem is that I only have them in two places. My face and my arms. I don't think I would mind if I had them other places because at least that would be some color on my too white legs. I have tried various solutions to this problem. Tanning creams are a bust, either they turn me a lovely shade of orange, or I develop an allergic reaction to them. I have been using one recently that seemed to be working, well yesterday I started itching...
AGAIN!!!!
I decided to try spray tanning a couple of years ago....
NOPE!
Once again there was the itchiness.
How about tanning beds, you ask?
My mother has had several skin cancer spots burned off of her body in various places... it just doesn't seem worth it to me. The problem is that I am the butt of every ones jokes when I do come out in the summer. To answer the most often asked question...
YES I DO GLOW IN THE DARK!
I have started telling the jokes before anyone else can.
"Yes, yes I know you need sunglasses to look at me! HAHAHAHAHA!"
I listen to a radio program that is always making fun of Mormon moms walking around with their long shorts and their pasty legs. Well some of us don't have much choice about whether we are pale or not. So people if you see me coming just put on your shades and don't point out the increase in freckles.
Thanks!

4 comments:

The Campbell's said...

Well we are in a similar boat. I burn in about 10 minutes in the sun. I too peel and then lose color. i also get freckles on my arms and face. Fate brought us together to be friends. I knew it!! I do love your picture with this blog.

Terresa said...

I'm pretty pale/fair, too. My dad has had lots of skin cancer over the years, and out of my siblings, I am the fairest. ;) Luckily, I don't have any skin cancer yet, but as I age, I worry more about it.

Just think, you might even appear tan next to my paleness!

PS: the chicken curry is pretty easy...

2 cans light coconut milk
misc veggies cut and cubed (carrots, spinach, broccoli, zuch, yellow squash, etc)
chicken breasts, enough to feed your family
some chicken stock
some curry powder or paste (you can find it @ Smiths, TJs, etc)
some onions & garlic powder or whatever you use
some basil if you like

toss into crockpot and bake on high for a few hours until done.
Serve over brown rice or couscous.
Enjoy! (We just ate it for dinner tonight.)

Crazy? Who's Crazy? said...

Oh, can I feel for you. Welcome to the club! Just think, someday our freckles will all merge into one and we will have a tan - ok, it was just a theory.

Vanessa said...

We must be soul mates. My dad is a red head and inherited his fair skin. I burn...never tan. That's ok.

And thanks to that big huge basal cell carcinoma I had dug out of my face 5 years ago, I'm obsessed w/sunscreen and putting it on my kids.

My friend asked if I wanted to go get a spray tan w/her the other day. I just laughed. I'm sure that would be a sight!

 
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