I am pale. This is a statement of fact. I have what is referred to as a red-head complexion. Without the red hair, which I wish I had because at least then people would get that the paleness is expected. I have to paint on almost every bit of color I have in my face plus, I do not tan... ever! I burn terribly whenever I am in the sun for more than a half hour. You would think that the burn would turn into a tan, but no, I peel and then just go back to white again. This is truly something that bothers me. People have always told me that if I try hard enough and go out for 30 minutes every day I can get some color. In high school I did indeed put this theory to the test. During my summer break I was out every day laying on my lawn chair trying to enjoy the sun.
Did it work you ask?
It did not.
All this seemed to accomplish was creating so many freckles on my arms and face that I looked like I was splashed with mud, the result of which was my mother constantly telling me to go wash my face. I do believe that this is why I rarely had acne problems as a teenager. I had the cleanest face of anyone on the planet. Did I mention that I do have freckles? The problem is that I only have them in two places. My face and my arms. I don't think I would mind if I had them other places because at least that would be some color on my too white legs. I have tried various solutions to this problem. Tanning creams are a bust, either they turn me a lovely shade of orange, or I develop an allergic reaction to them. I have been using one recently that seemed to be working, well yesterday I started itching...
I decided to try spray tanning a couple of years ago....
Once again there was the itchiness.
How about tanning beds, you ask?
My mother has had several skin cancer spots burned off of her body in various places... it just doesn't seem worth it to me. The problem is that I am the butt of every ones jokes when I do come out in the summer. To answer the most often asked question...
YES I DO GLOW IN THE DARK!
I have started telling the jokes before anyone else can.
"Yes, yes I know you need sunglasses to look at me! HAHAHAHAHA!"
I listen to a radio program that is always making fun of Mormon moms walking around with their long shorts and their pasty legs. Well some of us don't have much choice about whether we are pale or not. So people if you see me coming just put on your shades and don't point out the increase in freckles.