I have been feeling very sorry for myself lately. I have a very hard time when the weather changes from bright, warm and sunny to dark, cold and cloudy. It affects my mood a lot. It affects the way I see things, and it is really hard for me not to just give in to the depression that follows. It doesn't help that things with the kids lately have been... difficult. It doesn't help that things with my health have been less than perfect lately. It doesn't help that the "spend like there is no tomorrow" season is upon us. I have a tendency to wallow about when things aren't going perfectly. I sort of sink into the mire of life and settle in for the winter. I have even temporarily given up my only real outlet, blogging. Then here I am at 5 am reading other people's blogs. Just for something to do, because sleep is alluding me once again. And I run into this on one of my favorite blogs.
This is what I feel like today, what I have felt like for quite a while now. It probably doesn't help that I haven't been exercising. It doesn't help that I have gained weight (seriously I had to go buy new pants people!) It doesn't help that I have had to clean up messes almost constantly, blood, urine, toys, you name I have cleaned it up lately. But that put it all in perspective. I will try to remember that there is a reason for what I am doing. There is a reason for all that happens, while I am doing what I am doing. I may not know exactly the reason right now, but some day I will and it will all make sense.
So here I go, trying to do what I should, even if only He sees me.