Pppppttttttt!

You know there are times when I do feel like I am being punished for some kind of past wrong.

Most of my life is pretty good right now. Our current money situation is good, that isn't always the case. I have a great relationship with my husband. I have beautiful children, who love me as much as I love them. I am not even bored, which is saying something considering we are smack dab in the middle of summer.

The problem is that it only takes one little thing to drive me right over the edge right now.

My beautiful, sweet, autistic daughter is spitting again.

No this isn't just spitting, this is blowing disgusting raspberries right in your face

ALL FREAKING DAY LONG!

Ok so I know there are some of you out there who are saying...

Oh look how cute she is, it can't be that bad.

Well its worse!

Imagine if you will, someone spitting on you every time you try to hug them. Or spitting on you all the way through a meal, which means when her mouth is full of food.

Imagine that the noise from this action is in your ear every waking moment.

Yes I do mean EVERY moment she is awake.

That means from 8am to 9pm.

She even keeps herself up at night doing it.

Every hour of every day.

This has been going on for about a week now.

I am getting very tired of this.

The hard part is that she isn't like other children. I cannot punish her for doing this because it is really not a conscience act. Yes she knows she is doing it, and yes it gets worse if you try to stop her. But it is more of a compulsion, than anything else. She literally cannot stop!

It is just this one little thing.

Other than that my life is just great thank you very much!

?

I am having a parental dilemma.

How do you punish a child for something they knew was wrong when they did it in a fit of temper, but they came to you and confessed to all of it, including the fact that it was purposeful?

Don't get me wrong, she is being punished, she is grounded from life for the rest of the day.

Is that too harsh, considering she did confess without even being asked, and before I even knew she did wrong?

Maybe we will just call this the question of the day.

Randomness

So summer is here...

NOT!

It is suppose to reach a whopping 58 degrees today. I have to keep reminding myself that it is in fact JUNE!!!

I am so ready for the heat now. Yes I know I will be complaining come July, but I will be happily complaining.

I am ready to get the pool out, I am ready to have sweat trickling down my back even while I am sitting in my air conditioned house. I am ready to be sun burnt and blistered.

This is me... being ready... still ready... waiting...

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I am desperately trying to loose weight.

The problem is I have no will power.

I need to develop some of that.

I have to keep reminding myself,

"Sarah you are an adult, you have self control, you are the only one who can control what you do, OOOOO COOKIES!"

See, doesn't work.

I am regularly exercising. Last night Emanhaud and I upped our walking by another mile, we are up to three now. I have a goal to walk for an hour every day.

Some days that goal is more attainable than others.

Some days the only thing I want to do is lay on the bed and watch reruns of Alias.

I will keep trying. I'm not giving up yet.

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I'm bored

I keep looking for stuff to do, reading, cooking (see above), laundry, etc. Its just that on a daily basis most of the time the things I can think of to do just aren't happening. I just finished reading a series of books and have nothing on my list to read now. I can only do so much housework without going crazy. As far as cooking and baking go... again see above.

When I was a kid my little sister used to go around all the time saying she was bored. My mom would look at her and say "no your boring" and after a while she started saying "I'm boring" instead. Not the nicest thing to do, but I think that is what I am going to have to start saying.

"I'm boring, boring, boring!"

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I am starting up my cooking classes for kids next week so if you are in the Davis county area and want your kids to participate just leave me a comment and I will fill you in on the details.

If anyone out there has fun and kid friendly recipes that you can suggest that would be great too. They don't have to be easy. I am teaching them how to actually cook, not just assemble.

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Alright I guess that's it for the week

Here are the tunes

1. Little Red Corvette- Prince

2. Violette Hill- Coldplay

3. Stiff Kittens- Blaqk Audio

4. Oh My- Mellowdrone

5. Walking on Air- Kerli

6. Colorful- Rocco DeLuca and the Burden

7. Another Day in Paradise- Phil Collins

8. Out of Control- Oingo Boingo

9. Cruel Summer- Bananarama

10. The Only One I Know- The Charlatans

Bonus: Your Decision- Alice in Chains

An open letter to the idiots who keep doing this

ALRIGHT

YOU...

YEAH YOU!

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

STOP PUTTING THE FREAKING SHOPPING CARTS IN THE HANDICAP PARKING SPACES!!!!!

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW INCONVENIENT IT IS FOR A HANDICAP PERSON TO GET OUT OF THEIR CAR TO MOVE THEM SO THEY CAN PARK THERE?

OBVIOUSLY YOU DO NOT AND THAT IS WHY YOU CONTINUE TO DO SO!

WELL

STOP IT!!!! NOW!!!!

YOU KNOW WHERE THE FREAKING CART RETURN AREA IS SO...

USE IT!

Sincerely,

Me

Wordless Wednesday

Can't Complain

First let me just preface this post by saying I am sorry that I haven't updated for a long time. I have been really busy... Really! I swear I have been!

My girls graduated from elementary school this week, I planted a HUGE garden, I had to work, I have been trying to keep up on my house work... You know.... busy.

Plus there is the problem that I don't do anything web related any more unless it is on my Iphone. So I don't read other blogs, and I don't do updates unless it is a one sentence updated on Facebook. I know lazy lazy lazy.

I promise I will try to do better.

Plus I finally just realized, Hey I have a laptop!

Crazy world huh?

The thing is that even with all the busyness, I haven't been stressed out as much as usual. I haven't had a lot to complain about. I have decided I like my life. Sure I could stand to loose about 20 pounds. (See below post) Yeah I do have very difficult and challenging children, that are out of school for the next three months!

But hey, I get to sleep in for the next three months too!

So that makes it all better.

This is the first time in years that I am actually looking forward to having my kids home for summer.

Did I just say that?

I think there may be something wrong with me!

New Leaf

I looked at my husband last night an said "I've had it!" I don't want to feel like this anymore.... Oh wait it isn't what you think!

I have decided that I am going to be healthier. I know I have said this before, but this time I mean it. Let me tell you why. About a month ago I decided that I was cutting out sugar in my diet. It went really well for a while, I had very little sugar, and I did feel a lot better. However I have absolutely no will power and I eventually gave in. I think yesterday was my low point. We had the girls birthday party last week and so the house we have had a lot of sweets hanging around anyway, but I had to compound it with the donuts that I purchased on Monday to hand out in their classes. And since they were buy a dozen and get a dozen free, I had to get some for us too. Then about half of the donuts for the classes came home with the girls anyway. So we have birthday treats, cupcakes, and donuts just sitting around getting stale, and I spent money on them so I feel like I just have to do something so it isn't a waste of money. The solution is of course to eat them all myself. I am ashamed to say that I probably ate about 6 Krispy Kream donuts yesterday, along with two frozen burritos I had for lunch, and a couple of scotcheroos.

Needless to say I was not in a good mood yesterday. When I am "sugar mommy" I am not pleasant to be around. I do not feel good, I am impatient, I am angry, and I yell a lot, for no particular reason. By the time last night rolled around I was not a fun person to be around. This was sort of like hitting bottom for me. I decided right then and there that things were going to be different.

So here is the plan. I am recording on this very public blog what my stats are as of today, and I will make a monthly update to let you all have the chance to ridicule me if there is no change.

(This is probably the bravest thing I have ever done)

Natural waist: 35 inches

Hips: 38 inches

Bust: 38 inches

Bicep: 11 inches

Weight: 155 lb.

These are the areas I am the most worried about.

OK so don't get me wrong. I am not fat, I know this. I know there are people out there that truly struggle with their weight. I am not trying to belittle their struggle by saying that I am fat. I know that I am not!

I am however, very unhealthy. I am at the top weight I have ever been in my life, and that includes when I gave birth to my girls. I do not feel comfortable with my body and it is affecting the rest of my life. Plus now it is starting to affect my family as well.

I do not want this to happen anymore!!!!!!

Really this isn't about weight loss, it is about being healthy enough to feel good. It is about being healthy enough to take care of my family. It is about feeling good about myself, and knowing that I am trying my hardest to take care of myself. It is about setting a good example for my children so they will not have the same kind of struggle with their health that I have had.

I just want to do better, and from this day forward I will do just that.